Watch: TODAY All Day – Oct. 18

>> It's 8 o'clock on today.
Coming up, temperatures fall. Nearly 100 million people
waking up to a brutal cold from Colorado to Florida up to New
England. What if it looks like this when your trick or
treating? >> If if so, how bad will it
get? How long will it last? And is it a sign of a long
winter to come out tracking all of it. >> Then late last warning.
What you need to know about the diabetes drug going viral for
helping people slim down. It has been my easiest weight
loss attempts and my most successful. What the FDA is now
saying. >> Plus, supercharge your
savings. We're answering your questions about 4, 1, K's for
where to invest right now to alternative ways to say what
people of all ages should keep in mind about their money moves The long-awaited sequel to a
Christmas story drops its first trailer. So what can we expect
for Ralphie and his friends all these years later, we Triple
Dog dare you to stick around and find out today.

Tuesday,
10/18/2022. >> And in Novell, Iowa. But yeah, it was a turn in the
day today. >> Yeah. Okay. Babies to so
many adorable things. That reaction from people,
especially their parents. This mom cannot stop laughing
when she hears her baby laugh for the very first time. >> oh, my gosh. You see moms
laugh and she's crying. I think she's crying. He's just was
straight. Ryan. What a sweet joint moment. Happy tears.
Happy. They share that with the world that this nothing like a
baby's laugh, says she is just ahead a sequel. 39 years in the
making.

The first look at a Christmas story Christmas
that's giving us all the feels. Carson has that and more and
pop star. But first, it's expensive. It's risky, but that
is not stopping. Some people from using a diabetes drug to
lose weight will break down. Everything you need to know
about this trend that is taking social media by storm right
after this. We are back with your health.
OK, here's a question. If you could get your hands on a magic
bullet to lose weight. >> Would you do it? Well, this
morning, some say they have found it in the form of a very
pricey diabetes drug. But the trend is not without
controversy or some safety concerns. NBC's Kristen Dog has
been looking into it. Hi, Kristen. Good morning. Hey there. Good morning.
Well, if you've been on TikTok or Twitter lately, you've
probably already heard of Ozempic. It's an expensive drug
meant to treat type 2 diabetes, but apparently has become the
weight loss drug of choice for relatively healthy people from
Hollywood to the Hamptons. So much so that it's creating
problems for diabetics who are now struggling to get those
prescriptions not like.

>> I later is these days.
It's the talk of TikTok. I just start dropping pounds of
tonight. The topic those epic has over 300 million views
being on this medication has helped me tremendously with my
health. With scores of users crediting the drug for their
weight loss. Success owes M pick is a drug you inject
that's meant to improve blood sugar and help manage type 2
diabetes. But because one of the side effects is weight
loss. Many are using it off label a trend that may have
started in Hollywood talk show host Andy Cohen even recently
tweeting everyone is suddenly showing up. 25 pounds lighter.
What happens when they stop taking those pick? Since those
picks gone viral on social media.

Some doctors like Nancy
Run say they've been flooded with inquiries. >> It's become something very
hot and heavy in Los Angeles, Beverly Hills. >> Those picks active
ingredients him glut. I'd works by making you feel full longer.
Doctors say it's similar to go V which has been approved for
weight loss by the FDA and is produced by the same
manufacturer Novo Nordisk. When we asked the company about
people using those pick to lose weight, it responded in a
statement reading in part We do not promote suggest or
encourage off-label use of our medicines. The company adding
those pick and will go V are not interchangeable. However,
the FDA tells NBC News Healthcare professionals can
choose to prescribe drugs off-label when medically
appropriate and McKenna has documented her 45 pound weight
loss journey with those pick on YouTube. >> Interestingly enough, it has
been my easiest weight loss attempts and my most
successful.

>> She agrees those epic isn't
a magic pill. Adding her side effects have included headaches
and fatigue price. Some may be willing to pay for weight loss. >> And speaking of price,
according to the drug maker's website, those empty it can
cost about $900 a month. That wouldn't be covered by
insurance if you're using it for off-label uses. The company
also admits that because of the demand and supply chain issues. >> They are having trouble in
some cases and some diabetics have not been able to get those
prescriptions.

All right, Kristen, thank you to join us
now with more inside NBC News medical contributor Doctor
Natalie Azar. Doctor Azar. Good morning. So. >> A lot of people talking
about it on social media. Is it safe? Is there any
downside assuming you can afford it to taking something
like this? So first of all, let's just set the framework
again off of Christian space. This is for type 2 died.
We talk about is for type 2 diabetes, regulate your blood
sugar. But it also targets that area in the brain that sends
the signal of the feeling fuller. Not right. So it's
definitely helpful for weight loss and importantly, for type
2 diabetics. It can also reduce the risk of cardiovascular
events. But here's the thing. It's expensive, right? We've
got $900. Experts say that you would need to take the medicine
kind of indefinitely because you stop it. You theoretically
can regain all of that weight. And that's key. You mentioned
side effects. There are side effects that can be associated
with it. They include nausea, vomiting, but also more serious
things like pain Korea, Titus acute kidney injury,
gallbladder problems.

So it's not without potential risks.
Do you think? I mean, if you had a friend who said, look,
I'm making about using this, I just want to drop 25 pounds.
Do you think it's safe enough to say, well, that's stuck to
harm you or you can go ahead and do it? Well, here's the
thing. It and potentially right. And this gets into the
whole topic of using a drug off-label, right. The FDA study
this drug and its sister drug look V there's another drug.
It's the same, you know, active ingredient. But look,
the is marketed actually for weight loss for people who are
obese or overweight, who have won health related conditions
like hypertension or high cholesterol.

Sure. But the FDA
studies the drug in that population, the FDA hasn't
studied the drug and people who aren't diabetic or or over for
the only thing like that is for weight loss, is it is it the
notion that whatever risks that you mentioned, they are
outweighed by the risks of obesity? And I was kind of
health issued exactly course like any time. You know, the
big issue here is how are how are folks getting the
structure? I mean, if you're not diabetic and you're not
obese, actually accessing best. And that's important because
for the yes bout, I mean, just talking about this,
there's like there's much sites.

And yeah, you know, is
this. And and obviously some people are obtaining
prescriptions, you know, inappropriately anytime you you
prescribe. And we do this. I do this in reality, we do
prescribe medications off label, but there has to be
shared decision-making. And the patient, you know, has to
understand that potential risks can happen at the discretion of
that. I think your point about how it only lasts for as long
as you take it and that kind of a big thing. Like once you stop
it, you put the weight back on potentially. And then experts
say even you could gain more and more because remember, it's
regulating insulin, secretion and it's affecting hormones.
It's not necessarily something that's going to reset you for
like. And remember with those epic, I think the average
weight loss was about 14 pounds with a goal. The it's it's
higher. It's about like 15% of your body weight. But again,
for people who need it is medically manage weight loss is
a wonderful tool in the tool box. But the shortages are real
partially sigh.

But how much of of this is playing into it?
And the FDA has both with Kobe and those pick on the list of
in short supply drugs. At the moment I get information.
Doctor Azar, thank you so much. We turn now to your money with
inflation and up and down stock market and this rising interest
rates impacting the economy. A lot of folks have questions
about retirement savings. >> Specifically for a win came
here with some answers is our dear friend Stephanie Ruhle.
Staff. A lot of people are concerned about the 4, 1, k
with what we're seeing in the economy. Should they be
panicking? >> Listen, when the market is
bouncing around like this, I have 2 rules. Do not panic
and stay the course that's easier said than done. If you
look here for one K accounts all day every day, you're going
to freak out and you say, oh, my gosh, I need to sell.
But if you were to sell right now, you're going to lock in
your losses and also you're going to pay a fee.

Remember,
you have to have your 4, 1, K in for the long haul.
If you take that money out early, you're going to pay a
fee on. Then you want to look at this as a long-term
investment markets are going to go up. They're going to go down
your retirement account should stick. Try to relax. Take a
deep breath, OK? We've got some great viewer questions in a
couple of them on this very issue. Mary says I'm 2 and a
half years from retirement. I've kept the ride it out
strategy for a long time. But should I? We consider that
now. My priority not to work one more day after 4/1/2025.
help me please. And then Linda says, 49, am I for one case in
broad market stocks, domestic and international. What should
I do? Should I move them out? Are concerned of things like
bonds or real estate or just ride it out first.

I wish our
first question liked her job more. I mean, she's like I'm
quitting the first I would like hands. Yeah, I go in some way
at it's very different depending on how old you are.
Now. If you're 59 and-a-half or older, you've got some options,
right? You can roll into an I R a that means there are more
ways you can consolidate. There are more investment
options and it could cost you less. You can also go with an
annuity which gives you that steady stream of income every
year.

But it's more complicated and more expensive. Now, if
you're younger, if you know that you have got that you're
going to be working for at least another 7 years, try to
ride this out. Make sure you've communicated that you're for
one K provider. So you're invested in the right things
and you have the right timeline, but don't go jumping
out. All right. Brandon has got a question for you. It's a
video clip, OK, Brandon? >> My question is we hear so
much about the importance of maxing out your 401 k, if you
can, for those fortunate enough to
be able to max out their 4, 1, K's. Would you recommend
staying the course was now time? We should scale back a
little bit. >> Not so veiled back. What if
you can't do not scale back? This is the time to put more
in. Remember if the markets down, buy low, sell high and if
you work at a company that matches please max it out.
That is free money.

You are leaving on the table. You want
to have that money in there. However, they're in a different
situation. If you're saying the staff, I can't make the bill
and you need to make a movie. That's a different situation.
Yeah, right. You want to be sure you are saving that
emergency fund. Have that cash on hand. Whether it's in a
savings account, a higher yielding a you have some saving
stocked away.

Okay. Another good question. And this comes
on Twitter. Am I better off funneling money into paying off
my mortgage rather than 401 k right now? That's a good
question because mortgage rates are only going one direction.
Absolutely. But the thing you have to remember if you go and
take money out of your 401 k you're going to pay a fee on
it, you might look at your bills and say I want to scale
back a little. But what you don't want to be doing is
pulling money out. And I always want to remind you just try to
have that emergency savings over here, whether it's keeping
it in a CD.

But for one to 5 years and I bond we talked
about those last week, try to have some money set aside and
that retirement money, try to put it away. Don't think about
it. Please stop staring at your balance is going to lose your
mind. Okay. All right. It's hard. I know it's hard but
you're not going to change the outcome. He'll get a bounce
every day. You think you're going to change the outcome
this time? No, it's not. You know, I cannot get over how
you cross your legs.

Have you noticed how she said and that's
I can hacks ability of the possibility you can try to
start to be distracted. Yeah. It was very upset that people
post that they are for more advice. Check out today dot com
slash on the money. A new consumer. Stephanie on the 11th
hour. That's week nights at 11 pm Eastern on MSNBC were easily
distracted. Yeah, that's coming up next. From trendy shoes to
clap expires Chafee Post. >> He's sharing some of her
favorite fall fashion picks. But first, this is today on
NBC. Well. >> All right. We are back to 40
today bestsellers. And as the weather gets colder, now is the
perfect time to refresh that fall. We're just here with the
roundup.

Us must pass is shop all day. Contributor chassis
Poston just grab their phones. Can be your coach QR code if
you want to start shopping right away. High. Jesse, good
morning. Good morning. Okay. We're going to show up our
watches for fall. We sure are. >> At this leather or pleasure.
What is it? Yeah, it's a phone that either do it looked real.
Tell me.

But I mean, I love the moto jacket and I love seeing
you on the plaza and your little moto jacket. You could
ever want to be a rock or Friday. And you know what?
I love about it just that. I mean, this is this wardrobe
staple with attitude. And I got to tell you like. >> It makes anything you pair
it with look cool mean anything. And I think these are
really affordable. Fantastic takes on the trend. I mean,
it's got what everything you look for, the buttons. Yeah,
and all those zippers and though that all these collars
have south and all the colors, I mean, I think I've even seen
Dylan and the little pink moto. And so I mean, I love the
black, the wine color. And I mean, the price is right.
$43 to get in on this trend that let's really go to the
shoulder. Yeah, city girl were doing these days. That's right.
And you know what else? You can wear them with what the pants
of the season.

So the men's wear inspired trials or that I
have over here. So you know, everybody is wearing those sort
of bag year. Yeah, sir. High waisted trousers with a little
plate. Try those instead of your
legging. Yeah, the word dean, they're just as comfortable and
they look great with your motive. Great. But the team
where with sneakers or maybe even a low for the work and
guess what? So many different colors. And they started just
around $16.99, colors and patterns. And you know, yeah,
you can really play around with that. All right, guys. The snug
least sweater. I know it is what it was. And you know
what's so great about this. But first of all, it's a fan
favorite 20,000 ratings.

But here's what people like
about it. It's that chunky oversize. Yeah, I've but
without being too chunky and it's not to like I am a yes,
yes, yes. And it's not too thick. So you can do to have to
talk candidly that and it really hits it a flattering
place all day on the hips. You can wear with leggings,
jeans, skirts. What have you? And this is a really great
price. They started just 25 99, I believe. And I mean, 30
different color or 26 different colors. So you can really have
to get its act is not its iOS Imus waters to the low side
sheet.

Okay. So the ballet flat. Yeah. This one is a mega
bestseller. It's called the Police over 55,000 ratings
town. And let's face it. I mean, the ballet flats been
giving us French girl sheet for Jack. Yeah, and it's not about
to stop that. Here's what I love about these. They start at
just $11.87. Wow, which is great if you want to get in on
this trend because we've seen some really expensive la fly
out there and these have a rapper Saul Savannah. I feel
comfy. Yeah. And also like a little plush but bad. So I love
that 30 different colors and patterns, weights and talents.
You name it. Okay. Good now for the site. This caught my eye.
I mean, this is a fine for slide. 2 straps like these are
so incredibly soft. And I mean, we've seen the 2 steps. I get a
lot of traction. Yes, couple of seasons, but add in the fo for,
you know, we're going to take these off and guess what you
don't have to because there's a robber solemn about okay where
inside or outside what I mean a little left for.

Yeah. I mean,
come on, right. And what I love is you're going to see a lot of
furry feet out there. These are not just for indoors. I mean,
the phone slide is a really big trend. Okay. Just 29 99.
And that's a really fun holiday gift. I think okay and last but
not least we have another classic accessory making a big
comeback. And that is just, you know, the classic leather
belt with the Gold Belt Buckle. Yeah. But get this. These come
in a set of to bring at around $16.49. You can get these 2
belts which I love it. You know your trouser or you're highway.
Yeah. Sheen makes it look like you're trying when you put a
belt on, you know, you're like, OK, let's try to pull it
together. >> It really is. And I'd love
that things come in so many different colors and patterns.
My favorite neutral, the leopard.

I know. Yeah. I like
even with his left foot size of this leopard ballot, you'll be
like. >> Yeah, but yeah. Thank you so
much for more bestseller scan the QR code or you can go to
today dot com slash shop. We should mention this segment
solely features products available on Amazon which has
an affiliate relationship with today. >> This to Phil Rosenthal.
He is known as the co-creator of the beloved sitcom.
Everybody Loves Raymond and he's also known as a
professional foodie. Well, as the host of the hit Netflix
Docu Series, Somebody Feed Phil, he has gone from Bangkok
to Barcelona and traveling the globe to explore different
cultures. One bite at a time and now he's got the perfect
companion to the series. The Great book Sharing recipes
behind the scenes stories from the Road.

Somebody feed Phil.
The book yes fell literally. It is good to see you. You.
You know you I know you traveled around, but I
understand your your love of travel and and food. You had a
really kicked off when you talk with Ray Romano about travel.
Yeah. The show to Italy that changed everything. He didn't
want to go. >> He I asked him where is
going to go on his hiatus from season one to season 2 says I
go to the Jersey Shore and I said that's nice of them in
Europe because nigh.

So what I think is I'm not really
interested in other places. So I thought we should do an
episode about that attitude and how it changes to my attitude.
Someone very excited about travel and food and Italy.
Yes, and we went and I saw him change up the person and I
right there. I thought what if I could do this for other
people? And you know, 10, 15 years later here I am. >> Doing this. Yeah, you're
getting ready to have the 60's and raw today on Netflix today
with the book is that the is that the goal of the the show
did not know. It's not just food, but it's travel. But how
food changes people. Food is the great connector.

>> And then laughs of the
cement. So if you can combine all those things, I think the
world would be a little better. >> As you travel. Yeah. And
you've been to a lot of places. What what place has boost the
most surprise you. But then you maybe you're thinking one
thing, of course after you're done. >> Yeah, well, it happens
almost every season, like like a couple seasons ago, we went
to Vietnam. And so I'm thinking apocalypse out of taking the,
you know, the loose. We grew up with, right. And then you get
there and the war's been over for many, many years.

And it's
gorgeous. And this season where in Croatia, which just 30 years
ago was a war torn country and its Specht. I love the
Croatian. It's beautiful and is amazing. Yeah, my my kids were
excited because they feel great game of Thrones. There's yes.
There's a lot of that. And the Bruckner, you know, your
parents, all just us. 2 of the dearest dearest people talk,
talk about how they influence your your love of food and and
how they influence you. Well, we didn't get a lot of great
food growing up, Brett, right? We didn't have the money and my
mom worked. Then my dad worked and it just wasn't a priority.
So I didn't have delicious food until I left. >> But everything else. >> They gave me a sense of
humor. They taught me to value a sense of humor, right?
That was the currency, the house. And if you've ever seen
the show or if you've ever seen, everybody loves Raymond
there, there's a lot of them in it.

And then in the show
itself, you know, I skyped with them
every episode, right? Because they were the best part of the
show. Honestly. And this season, Netflix was generous
enough to let me do a special episode just about that Koch
Allen, the Max can't wait to see that. It's so nice when you
get to a place like say here in New York City and this is
somewhat looks like it's somewhat representative of of
New York City. Tell us what what you've got. And this is
the classic. I grew up on this like in the 80's when I was
struggling out of work. Actor in New York yet this is the
sausage egg and cheese at the twist on the bacon egg and
cheese on the soft Kaiser. Roll them a better. It's good
outside the cream. It has no ad. No crime. But
right. Failing to Novi Edition.
Tricked us. >> Somebody feed Phil. The
book. It is available today to find these recipes. And more on
our website today DOT com slash food.

We're back in a moment.
But first this is today on NBC are given Anthony a sandwich or
a also jack and change the name on it out of me. >> I think when you open your
eyes you get to decide house my day going to last. We want to be a way to start
your day. What you love every single morning. >> We're back to days. Plus,
have it all happened all about that. We've got wages here.
We've got cars back on. The >> Was picked up cars that come
on. I was so happy to be back in.

Happy to help Michael and
and a veto from Denver. Celebrate. Yeah. Yeah. >> Awesome. Great to meet you
guys know? Yeah. They do. In Moss families here in
Stockton, California. The celebrated their anniversary.
Yeah. >> I got to meet 7 Rebecca from
Topeka, Kansas, in town, all hands on 30th birthday
cakes and 70 years. You come back. You're going to be
awesome. I guess what? Let's celebrate the mall has been in
those making sure. We've got a very special first smuckers jar
here. Happy one 100th birthday to Billy Straw.

>> This expert golfer has had
to hit 3 holes in one in her life. Also, the grandma of our
producer at Greenfield say happy birthday, Virginia Mayor
areas Mary, 105 years old, celebrating the big day with
her whole family. Happy 100 birthday to Len Baker married
to his high school sweetheart for more than 60 years. Manuel
Martinez, 101 awarded to bronze stars for his service.

We
salute you, sir. Celebrating 100 years fell a gas. Can she
loves to travel and happy one 100th birthday to Fannie
farmer. She's the one who created the Candies. I thank
you. She owned her own salon. Just Fannie's beauty shot.
All of that beautiful. Yeah. >> Awesome. Awesome. Right.
Coming up on Hoda and Jenna designer Nathan Turner gives
one couple a fabulous home makeover.

The first in the 3rd,
our one about a sweet assignments ever inside the
oldest candy shop in the country. All right, guys,
thanks for coming to see. >> This morning. On the 3rd
hour of today, fall free record breaking cold plunging millions
of folks into an early winter. Several states already breaking
out the shovels and we're tracking it all. Plus not so
fast. The cost of eating out is taking a bigger bite out of our
budget. What's behind the supersized? Increased in fast
food prices? That from salty to sweet. We'll visit the oldest
candy shop in the nation. In our new series, the Sweetest
thing where tradition and treat go hand in hand. Snowboarding legend Shaun White
live in studio talking life after the Olympics and his new
business today Tuesday, 10/18/2022? why from Studio One a in
Rockefeller Plaza. This is the 3rd hour of today. >> Good morning and welcome to
the 3rd hour of today. And should now here with Aoun.
Dylan.

Good morning. Yeah. Back tomorrow, Greg. Back
tomorrow. Yes, just draw. All is well. The calendar says
October 18th, but it may not look like it outside your
window where depending on where you live. It is cold outside.
And that's not all. Let's go to ABC's Maggie Best. The Winds
You see her backdrop, same city of Northern Michigan where snow
shovels are already needed. Maggie, I just I can't I just
can't haha. >> This isn't saying, guys,
this is less than a month in the fall. Like what is this?
Eerie are some of the families that we met already saying,
look, it's not even Halloween. So they're already thinking of
tailoring their trick or treating plans. And and we
talked about breaking out the shovel. So we aim to please.
I just want to show you what is falling.

What has fallen here
in parts of northern Michigan. 8 inches here in the gaudy more
than a foot in other parts of Michigan and Wisconsin with
this cold snap stretching all the way to Florida. >> Overnight fall quickly
turning to the winter in the Midwest. Is any part of this
mall event that we're like mid October. It's going to be a
long winter. An early season storm dumping
more than a foot of snow in northern Wisconsin and Michigan and making for treacherous
drive in Indiana. The weight of the heavy snow knocking out
power to tens of thousands Monday and causing trouble for
plows. >> They have a hard times for
plows to get through because the trees are hanging on the
roads. >> Autumn leaves blanketed in
white as Chicago saw its first flurries of the season. The
October chill bringing the first freeze of the season to
89 million people this week. Today, Kansas City, Omaha and
dozens of other cities waking up to record breaking cold as
low as the teens Americans forced to crank the heat just
as heating bills are expected to hit a 10 year high.

The
frigid blast arriving nearly a month ahead of schedule and
also surging south sending temperatures tumbling from
Tennessee to the Florida Panhandle. This week, Alabama
and Mississippi set to feel even colder than Boston
Wednesday. While in South Carolina farmers are scrambling
to harvest before the frost. >> It is fun to lose crops.
You will harvest what we can and will continue to harvest
tomorrow. >> A change of season and a
taste of winter come early. What if it looks like this when
your trick or treating? >> Little girl was not play
around the guys. I want to point out with snow like this.
And this is just a, you know, casual snowball that we made
here. But with snow like this, her little brother said that
he's thinking about rearranging his trick or treating plans.
So the stakes here are high and just a reference to get it
looks like this in Michigan, the first day of winter isn't
until December 21st. So this is insanely early as you guys now
I'll send it back to you.

>> I got to tell you, make
these prop game extremely strong double this year.
This this our last hour, she had a measuring tape.
Haha, Maggie, because it's the first snow of the season out.
All the good all the same. You know how you got that stuff
in your carry. A thank you, Maggie. Thanks so much, Sarah,
like this. And how long this post last like this isn't a tow
winter is coming to. You said it's not even here yet. Oh,
yeah, a lot, OK? Okay. Better her than me. And now to a mega
mystery down in Florida, someone purchased one of 2
winning Mega millions tickets at this 7.11 in Fort Myers.
Obviously, that's a community that was hit hard by Hurricane
Ian.

Now the jackpot, it's worth nearly half a billion
dollars and the community is buzzing over who the lucky
person is. NBC's Kerry Sanders, not the lucky person, but he is
down in Florida. Bob Kerrey, 2 degrees, right? Yeah. Little bit different there.
Kerry, do you know anything about the winner? >> We're all waiting. We don't
know whether he she or they maybe it was a group that
bought the ticket, whether they were hit by the hurricane,
whether they lost their home, whether they even know that
they have this winning ticket because remember Lysa so
disrupted right now without power outages and Internet,
just that chaos in the aftermath.

But we do know it's
one of 2 tickets. The other one sold in San Jose, California.
And in Florida, you have 60 days to come forward. And if
you decide to take that lump sum, it is a mind blowing
123.9, 5 million dollars, guys. >> So, Kerry, I got to imagine
everybody is talking about at what they say. >> Well, you know, everybody
wants to know course who it is. They want to know whether this
person with that kind of money will be generous to help their
neighbors. They're not sure maybe it was somebody who
already came into the area to help the rebuilding effort.
But if it is a local, they're hoping it's the kind of person
who not only celebrates but then sort of spreads the
wealth.

And, you know, there's just so much so much feel-good
story here in the aftermath of so much sadness, skies. It's
just I'm really excited moment. And just for a reference to
Maggie who's out there in the snow guys, and you mentioned
host to be around the 7 degrees. >> Measure out to the man
little bit different. Why this? Both in the U.S.

Tonight.
Yeah. Thank you, Kerri. Yeah, >> All right. Let's talk about
a little sticker shock when you head to the drive-thru at your
local fast food place. Menu prices on the rise of a lot of
the most popular fast food chains. NBC Sam Brock following
the story for us. So Sam, now we know, of course,
inflation driving food prices up at the grocery store, but
now obviously affecting the fast food industry. And I guess
folks aren't really happy about that. >> No, they're not. You know
what our guys, good morning. Good to be with you. The
reality is that you're looking at a situation right now.
These businesses are premised around value. They don't want
to raise prices. But the fact of the matter is, food costs
have gone up so much fuel labor. So many aspects that go
into pricing what you pay inside the store. They've had
to rise a little bit. I'll give you an example to polar since
the summer of 2020 has raised its prices for tarts. I talked
to a customer yesterday asked him how much you pay for that.
Bree double said it used to be about $8.

Now it's about 11.
At what point I asked him, would you not be buying it
anymore? And he said I don't 13 box and then he stopped and
said not doesn't matter. How much goes up? I'm going to
buy anyway. There is extreme loyalty for some of these
press. Not McDonald's saw an increase of about 8% in the 1st
quarter of the year for the cost of its of its food
products. However, that really varies based on franchise.
There is no set level across the Ford and McDonald's has
been able to weather the storm a little bit better than some
other companies because they're so large. They're also getting
creative on their apps. That's one good way to find some
deals.

Even with prices going up. >> Our war programs. Are they
taking a hit from this, too? >> Yeah, it's great question.
Shanelle. It's a it's a double edge sort of situation here
because not only are food prices going up, but the
rewards are also shrinking. Dunkin Donuts is faking facing
some backlash this morning because the cost of getting a
free cup of coffee. It used to be spend 40 bucks. You get a
cup of coffee. Now it's up to $50. They have also guys
doubled what their value was worth for. One $1.75 points.
Now you get 10 points. That sounds like what a great idea.
Except it devalues the existing points for customers who have
been backing this for a while.

So there's that for to pull a
that's another example. They went from 1400 points to 1600
plus points for a free burrito, which is the same set of
costing $240. Nice. Been one 60 to 50 and get a burrito.
Is $20 going to make or break a situation for many people,
maybe maybe not. Just another example of these rewards are
starting to shrink. >> That close to, you know,
writing for the free food for the free anything.

But Sam,
Save us some money. How how can we, you know, save a few bucks
when we go to these places. >> So the apps should get your
apps like ad. Now, I don't tease me key because of the
fact that you have a situation where you're accumulating
points regardless. So maybe they don't stretch as far as
they used to. But you're still getting free stuff and you'll
find rotating deals on there. You see that side use points
ASAP. A lot of these companies, McDonald's, for example,
Wendy's Starbucks, if you don't use them within 6 months to a
year, they just go away. And I will add this. I'm a good
friend who wants to know that I was going inside a McDonald's
to buy the coffee. Any sense to me? Are you crazy? You can just
go on the app and by the coffee for $0.99. Why are you not
doing that? So real people in the know use the apps because
you can find deals around the clock out. I didn't know that.
Yeah.

That's pretty cool here. >> Use those points much like
the best. The quicker he is thanks to its but he said the
now I've heard that. >> Areas will be done. Haha. >> Now to a today exclusive.
This is big. The Girl Scouts of the USA just announced a
historic donation. MacKenzie Scott is giving 84 and a half
million dollars to the organization.

This is the
largest single donation ever in its history. Girl Scouts CEO
Sophia Chang calls it an investment in girls. She says
this will accelerate their mission to cultivate skills and
connections to help Girl Scouts all over this country. Become
the leaders. >> Of the future. Yeah, you
enter and remember you when I interviewed her, she's so many,
you know, high hopes for the Girl Scouts. You are a great
girl. You weren't quite. Yeah. Haha. But I was across
got to remember all the things I did with other girls in the
community and the parades and just just that sense of
community and the good things you do as a group. It was just
those special people inside of it. But I mean, from
communities like Rob from Wichita, Kansas, here in New
Jersey, on this roles in communities, all of this
country and who need it.

So congratulations to Rafa. >> Well, just ahead, we're
going to catch up with the king of the halfpipe Haiti time
Olympic gold medallist misti Shaun White is here live.
Sure what he's been up to after the Games. All right. Let's cue
power to take a little turn, though. Also before you that
we're going to take an in-depth look at foster care in this
country. One woman sharing her story about growing up in the
system and the challenges that come with leaving because the
3rd hour of today can to spend. look at foster care in the U.S.
in this morning. We have one woman's story about growing up
in the system and the challenges of aging out.
NBC News correspondent Antonia Hylton is here with more.
Good morning to you.

So important morning. Thank you.
In New York, like in most states, foster youth are
supposed to leave the system at age. 21 meeting no more housing
or other public benefits for the past 5 months. I got to
know Christina Abraham, a remarkable young woman who
faced enormous challenges. She attempted to find a place
she could call home. >> 21 is a bittersweet moment.
Everybody looks forward to the 21st birthday. But in my case,
I'm old enough to not have anywhere to live. >> Christina Abraham is a child
of New York City's foster care system awaiting her 21st
birthday. >> How did that change living
with people who were caring for you? It may be so terrible.
It made me feel like I didn't matter. And that is a terrible
feeling to feel like you're in a world full of billions of
people in your life does not matter to anybody. >> Last year in New York City,
more than 500 young adults aged out of foster care. We spend
time with Christina on her journey to 21.

>> So the pain in my chest,
people talk about fun moments with their parents. Some things
are hard those to swallow. Family Parenthood love support
and caring guidance, nurturing. These are all things that I
unfortunately didn't get. >> 5 days out and she hasn't
yet found an apartment she can afford. Christina wants to find
her first place in Harlem, a community steeped in rich
black history. Despite all the pain she endured here, this is
where it all started. It's where she entered foster care
after an abusive childhood. She became a permanent ward of
the state at 8 and remembers for mom leaving her alone here.
Her mother says officials separated her from Christina
and she was not allowed to say goodbye.

>> We're just a little person.
Did you understand what was happening? Unfortunately, I did. Because
this have been the second time now. >> Christina spends almost all
her free time looking for landlords who accept city
rental voucher. 21 comes and goes without a party. Nearly 2
months later, things start looking up. >> This is the back too. >> Then Christina says the city
foster agency failed to submit her paperwork in time. >> Am I ever gonna get this
apartment? One forcing her to remain in the group home. >> Where public areas are under
constant surveillance. If you lift up there's a window.
And so anybody who walks by can look inside of your room at any
time overseeing the city's foster care youth is just and
Hauser, commissioner of the administration for Children
Services. His team is looking for new ways to provide
financial support to foster youth. We've seen some of the
conditions of the group homes and tad descriptions of
violence of a lack of privacy.

Is that safe and secure? >> We are absolutely will not
accept that being at a place where we want people to be.
And of course that's not safe or secure. My whole goes
commissioners to make this system more humane. >> 2 and a half months after
turning. 21 Christina is approved for a place with only
$150 to rename a missing Meals. >> Orleans. >> Christina, small savings
need to last for almost 3 weeks until she gets paid for her new
job.

>> Sometimes I'm excited to
start my job. So I wake up with a smile on my face. How beautiful the floor.
But still other days. Tired. >> So close to her jury.
Christina refuses to give in. She wants to rewrite the story
of her. Life could be in Harlem. 99 days after her birthday, Christina welcomes us into her
first home. How long have you been waiting for this moment? >> The short version, maybe 6
months or longer than 21 news. >> Oh, it's so good there.
So many hurdles that many of us take for granted how she's
doing now.

I am happy to say that Christine is doing really,
really well. What she told me recently that her home in
Harlem starting to feel like a real home. She's loving her
first job, starting to get some more responsibility. And she's
also received some support. In fact, a charity called
Hearts to homes has given her about $2,400 worth of home
goods. All I want is a cleaning things. And so she's really
been able to get a fresh start.

And, you know, she's in some
ways lucky. There are many people who age out and they
move into their first homes without a bed without plates to
eat from cutlery. You know, all the basic things that
aren't just about comfort but about survival. And, you know, the thing about Christina,
though, is that she's such a beautiful, strong spirit.
She smiled through all of that. Yeah, so I don't think this is
the last time we're going to hear from such a great start.
So important. We're shining a light on those on all across
the call of the country. Thank you. And Tony, so be sure
to tune in all week to today. NBC Nightly News with Lester
Holt for more of NBC News series. It's called
Unprotected.

>> This morning we are catching
up with an Olympic icon Shaun White. 3 time Olympic gold
medalist 15 time X Games, gold medal winner and of
course, snowboarding much. >> Yes, 8 months ago in
Beijing, he competed in the Olympics for the final time,
but shot is certainly keeping busy in retirement. He's here
to tell us all about life after the games, his new lifestyle,
snowboarding and apparel brand. It's called white spaces.
John is with us this morning.

Good morning. And thanks for
having me. It just puts a smile our face when we see here and I
love it. I think that the lesson you're here, you're
talking about white space. We're like, yeah said. >> Yeah. I mean at the Olympics
ahead to sample boards, all those things. And we finally,
you know, got production through and it's up for sale.
That's amazing and awesome. Honestly, we put it up for
sale. Just I mean, maybe even 24 hours ago, a lot of the
stuff of sold out how much it was in this brand. Everything.
You know, that's what's so great is I can pour all my
expertise, all of my, you know, experience in the sport into
these products, especially the boards and, you know, the
outerwear. But it's been so fun to make goals and, you know,
limited merge and stuff. I'm working with my brother and
I are doing all the design. All the markings on the create
is a yeah. Yeah. The great thing with the sweater like
that.

You know who which from haha. So after after she year
they'll at the Olympics. It looks like now retirement is
is shooting you. You're doing a lot of travel. We see there
girlfriend Nina Dobrev. What's it been like? It's been unreal.
Honestly, I was nervous. Obviously, you know, just to
hang it all up. It's been my life. But I told me it was
like, let's just go. Let's just travel. Because the Olympic
come down can be tough. Yeah. Let's just spend some time
looking J I live. Yeah. Spot was down the coast Rica.
That was amazing. That was our first like, hey, let's just go
to yet Coast Rica's incredible. Her mom actually lives in
France now called Avenue on and of course, all love. I had no
idea. I show up. It was just stunning. And so, you know,
there's a lot of glitz and glam to our trip, but that was
probably my favorite part. That's not.

So we've been doing
that. And then after the traveling, you know, like
travelers, a nice distraction. But then when the dust settles,
I think that rely having the brand has been amazing. The
prom, my focus and effort into >> I mean, being on SNL can't
really? Yeah. First time right in with miles Teller, Jon Hamm,
if you recall the.

>> You know, Nina, our friends,
but the tellers. And and so I have a dinner and they like to
be on the show. I get a couple hours before. I didn't realize
how quickly just wait. Yeah, just threw me in. And I'm like
I remember green to do it that I got their life. I like that.
He just pushed me. I think. Goodness that one line. Haha.
Something about like these are awesome. Okay. Haha. That's
also at the winter season. You know, coming up, we have a
live shot earlier with the snowfall. You know, you have
it. It's 40 miss it like we how what you can do this better.
I know I'm excited. I mean, I think it's funny. I've been
telling friends of mine. I have a little list running of
certain mountains that I've been to where I've only done
the run to get to the half.

Yeah, airport was night.
Yeah. I like it's kind of some of those things where I I never
really explore some excited to go back and do that. And then,
you know, I'm just so thrilled to potentially see, you know,
some of my Ford's. Yeah. >> We're generation and my
husband that's have never seen my husband geek out the way he
did. We've been I've been with him since he was 17. Yes, 42.
I've never seen him care that he shot and he's like home.
The.

>> Skateboarding. I'm a bit of
good news is is that that's a year around what Google I o.
Yeah. >> That's a pretty hello.
This is me is my cross training. You know, a lot of
people say you tell the girl friends to get off their back.
You. Yeah. Haha. I was like let me show you how it's done or
have this clip. What we do shot. Yeah. >> We are avenue here. Yahoo
will missing to compete. But I mean, haha, Tom, I don't know. I well, I
for sure I'm happy and this new life and make and I was taken
to the next season, hasn't even come about. Yes, I got to just
live with it for a moment. But honestly, I'm so happy you
made the right.

Yeah, and really great about it. And I
saw my competitors recently as testing product in Switzerland
to and I'm hanging with them. And, you know, I'm still. >> Part of why did the lake where you? >> Product testing in
Switzerland. Yeah. Haha. So much of that is. >> Well, coming up next, we've
got a place where candy of history that we're going go
behind the scenes of the oldest candy shop continuously
operating in the U.S. in our new series, the Sweetest Day on
that later, some fall fun and games, creative ways to bring
the season in your home on a budget. >> Now it has an I asked us to
bring you all the right back. the sweetest thing. We're going
to be some of the most unique candy makers in the country.
I recently that stopped by America's oldest operating
candy shop in Philadelphia. And it was like a sweet trip
back in time. >> For over 150 years, Sheen
confectionery, the country's oldest continuously operating
candy store as student here established in 18.

63. The shop
was just one of many candy businesses in Philadelphia.
But none standing the test of time. Quite like chains hasn't
always had the new machines out front. >> No, it was by Kenya. Last
angler Wt Westcott Bulls Confectioners in the trade and
then by 1911, ever change took over and his family owned it
for 99 years. >> In 2010, the Shame family
sold the sweet spot. 2 brothers, Ryan and Eric Burley
because this is kind of a turn of the century. Candy shop do
always dress the part. >> Wearing the bow ties also
doesn't get caught in the machinery. Preserving change
became a labor of love for the brothers, restoring everything
from the floors to the decades old candy making equipment.
It was really a jewel that mean that the polished and we were
just astounded by the beauty of the place in the fact that they
were still making chocolates here.

Why was it important to
keep the name, Shane? They've been here for nearly 100 years.
It didn't feel natural for us to impose our own name or some
other name. How much responsibility do? >> We'll in carrying on the
tradition of this really historical name here in
Philadelphia. >> I think part of that, the
history and calling a 4 carrying out confectionery is
having roots and integrity of how they used to do it. >> Those can be making
traditions alive and well upstairs above the shop where
Shane's chocolate are handcrafted from bean to bar by
a team led by head chocolate maker Kevin Paskel. You dream
about different kinds of chocolate bars like thinking
about what's the next chocolate bar and we get inspiration all
the time. More kinds of different things. You kind of
think about how you can translate these things until
the convection experience to show you how to make a bar.
Yeah. Get your already press the pedal slide. The mold all
the way to the back. Look at chocolate deposit after a few
tries. >> This is what our finish bar
looks like here in this bar is asked in the exact same way
that that chocolate makers to make chocolate here on this
block, Benjamin Jacks.

And this is the back topped with our sea
salt and our core. Oh, that's great. That's very unique. >> Today, the shops still an
homage to the past by me conclude 20 can be a rare
seasonal should retreat dating back to the 1800's. Mark.
I I've never here heard of of clear toys when it comes to
Candy. What is that? >> It's a Pennsylvania German
tradition. That's candy statues. At the end of the day,
we have 1200 molds and they're all. >> Very, very old Victorian
designs. So how do you do this is because it it's like molten
sugar. So what could possibly go wrong? A lot. In fact,
weather is a huge factor. When making clear toys you need
to be cold and needs to be dry.

>> If it's really anything
else, you get sticky products. You get cloudy product. All
right. And then we wait. >> After about 30 minutes, time
to pour some sugar. You're doing great your natural.
But I learned quickly, this is not so easy. It's delicate
sugar. It will break in your hand. >> We crack open the mold and
see my clear toy cleaning. Like to give you a hand.
Maybe we'll call this one our oquirrh well, and they made me.
They broke the mold. I workers So do you eat? You can eat
them. But they also used his decorations, some of the sugar
ones. So these are the clear toys we and usually I made
during the holiday season. It's and they may be limited
edition Halloween treats like with little witches and wizards
there and Yahoo. Trace of the child. >> What is this now? I think
that's the sea, salt and sea salt pepper. And then this is a
peppercorn my week. This all out right now. It's I mean, as
a result made by the real deal on a ride that go fight it.
All right.

Thank you out. You're welcome. Okay. This is
really on my block now. Coming up, more delicious treats and
today food. >> We help you save room for
high because we brought in an expert to show us how to win.
One up from scratch. Today. Limon Espresso climate mask.
Okay. Dylan fire at no point was showing up or putting out
why I y ways to bring fall fun
right here.

When we come back to it, he'll
get it. >> This morning in tune up
Tuesday, we're bringing fall festivities into the hall with
the core you can easily make without breaking the bank.
So here to show us how is Lindsay Peers, owner of the
craft studio here in New York City. Good morning to you.
Good morning. And happy fall debates. Yes, I want to do all
of these because they're all really simple. Yes. And that's
what I'm all about DIY that you can actually do. You don't have
to be a pro crafter to do this. And the first thing I love to
do is I love different ways to decorate a pumpkin patch.
It's my favorite. These white pumpkins are all the rage or do
I want to give you a brush in case you can do this with?
This is a day set aside to clue.

Yeah. Okay. I'm a white
pumpkin. Find some fun, festive, you know, wrapping
paper. You can print out family photos. Even I was on that
case. You could do relieved and then a cry at an address right
now because it will drive final drive just like this. How fun?
Right here. And this will last you through from Halloween
through Thanksgiving. Haha. Yeah. To our tables. I always
him and did when I see these beautiful table games and they
don't want to do it. Yeah, you could do OK? Anyone can do
this. I just used a pumpkin ice carver and cars out to sea a
little bit whole. It's a real apple. Same thing at Harveys
little pumpkin much and and then these are my favorite.
My kids and I went on a fall treasure hunt. We found a car
and take a gold cup of paint. Dip them in. Typical that the
real deal. Yeah. But on was a pretty dry and these are great
sprinkled in the middle.

You can also put them in a jar.
But some flour. Yeah, Hawkins last, you know, if they are not
kept in the freezing cold or and above, you know, room
temperature the last a while. So yeah, these apples you can
put some lemon juice inside and the last a little bit longer
can grab them in the fridge was a nice haha and look at the QT
Zaha who'll who doesn't love an Instagram moment, right?
So you're having a fog gathering. Everyone wants a
little photo. This Andre fall leaves wall skew just on a
wooden dollar ad fishing. Where gives the illusion the
leaves are falling. You trace relieves or print out a
template and then look at this. All you do this, especially why
which is hard to see you just time and like a cascading
pattern. And if they're literally that would draw lazy,
he's watching catching up on, you know, my Netflix shows and
just time the leaves and then look at how cute this is anyone
to show I very therapeutic.

And it's nice to not be on your
phone and like, yeah. Haha. Okay. All right. You guys know
I love and activity at a party. This is my favorite pumpkin
ring toss everybody grab for a while. But I want to play for
all want to play, you know what out and then goal when he could
possibly win.

And yeah, you could you let's see who can get
the most. You just paint these wooden rings that you get a
local craft and then ever you you just go. You guys. This is even better
pumpkin hole in one eye. Haha. Yeah. I had the ball in
the fall colors hot and then he just caught. Are your mouth a
little bit deeper? So it has a little ramp. What about the
pumpkin? The? >> Yeah.

Absolutely right.
That you have to carve pumpkins anyway. Haha. You are yet to get the
person I want right up. But you could make silly. They try it.
I think it's harder than it looks in there. Well, you're
not. All right. It's so fun, right? And all these things,
you all also that day and they yell of 8 year fall party are
getting together. >> And you can have some fun
with this. You want to try out? Yeah. That was my ambition for
haha. So close. So close that you drive having you love me
here in crafting happy. Yeah. could be able to start here
with us to make one of her favorites pies. You probably
know are from the Netflix show.

>> Big Squad and that she
joined me last year on my cooking up a storm podcast you
to it. >> Well, she just released her
new cookbook. It's called justice of the Pies, which is
also the name of her Chicago Bakery. My and not only bakes
amazing pies. She also helps teens experiencing food
insecurity by teaching them about nutrition and about
baking right. Good morning. Good morning. Yeah, here.
Yeah, OK, so your to your father was a criminal defense
attorney. Not and you love baking pies. So this is kind of
whole dream came to life. Tell us about it. >> Yes, my dad was obsessed
with making pies and he passed away in 2009. So I created this
bakery in his memory to celebrate his love of pies and
to honor his belief that people deserve second chances and
highs kind of dedicated to someone. >> By well, in the book I do
interview 10 people who use their work to positively impact
the lives of others that I created a recipe inspired by
their work.

>> That's wonderful that we're
getting started. This is I love the cross right from the
beginning. Only get better from here. So this is. >> And our limit espresso pie.
So I'm going to take one tablespoon of ground espresso
and 3 tablespoons up not to better. And then we're going to
come find that together until it gets nice, a Mauritian, OK,
we're going to put that into a pie plate and press it down.
Now. I like to use a flat bottom to kind of help me press
it down. You could use a veteran cop or a drinking
glass. We kind of tamp that down into this nice and good
move on over to our custer.

So this is the limit custard,
which is something that we also it's very similar to like a key
lime pie here to trick the kills will loosen the sweetened
condensed matter. What I do is I put the sweetened condensed
milk in first and then missed that together. Then the pro
teams with the in the milk will interact with the city of the
limit. You picked him up a little bit of extra Parker.
We could put some limits best in there as well. So we're
going to combine back first, but live insects and if then
pour in our live in choose and combine that as well. And if
you find that your mistress still a little bit loose, then
you can let it sit for 5 minutes.

I do think and why it
is that we're going to port that and to our high here.
But we're going with that because what that into our pie
dish. Okay. But this is a failing many I yeah, a little
bit hill in addition to having a a custard filling, we also
have a limit, Kurt that goes on top over going to have a water
bath and we're going to bring water to a simmer and here
we're going to find a cure. Those with granulated sugar
year, a little bit of sauce top. Bring out the flavor at
them or limit using it.

Then we will cook. That's until the
took the Mr. Lisa Trail, when you want to spawn, I say
what you have to do just got to keep your baby. Sit in the
baby. Get a baby. Sit is not baked. This is bay at this
debate. But it's chilled what, 6 hours. So I have to be nice
and and chill and again that they could just
yes. And so we now have the Limon Costa. That is chilling.
We have our lemon curd and also children and we're going to
take that and put it on top. It just spread it about. I know that my way. You can see
the loss and like the 2 different colors. Love yellow.
Now, favorite part, what is definitely eating and make it a
pretty nice to take us. So what about this little part up here?
You just adds a little yes. Take a slice high. Okay.
But then look to add homemade hot sauce boss and look and I
so I like to play. But then some time back in a little.
Yeah, I love this.

This is Chantilly cream. You can to put
a dollar. Oh, my goodness. I didn't like
living and I love. This is like that was all the amazing.
Thank you. Now this is a cold time. People tend to think that
cold eyes a good for summer. But this is actually a ridge of
high because that is when the citrus fruit is in season.
Look, Hassan, this felisha us, my co-author to this is
fantastic.

Many thank you so much because of the pie pies.
So learned this recipe today dot com slash food and Mike
Meals. New cookbook, justice of the highest it's ever today.
We'll be right back. Who says All day, our friend Joe Martin
is launching a new streaming show. It's called the New Rules
where she sits down with some influential women for candid
conversation. On today's episode, Jill explores what it
means to be a woman in the workplace from changing careers
to finding joy at work. So catch the first episode today.
You can find today all day on Peacock for your star TV.
All right.

Coming up on Hoda and Jenna Home decor makeover
from our sponsor, the Home Depot. Before we go, we want to
spend a very send a very special, happy birthday.
2 bielieskov today is her one coronated producer that reveals
grandmother. Yeah. You're gonna like to hear this. She credits
her longevity, staying active, included playing golf until she
was 90. He got 3 holes in one. That's a lot of rounds to.
But haha and he said he has not. I have
so little are on the 3rd hour of today. We're going to be
talking about manifesting your best life. Sounds good to me.
We'll see you tomorrow. Have a great day, everybody. Happy
birthday to eye >> Breakout star of your newest
TV obsession.

And and my partner tracks are done show. Plus, a fabulous home makeover.
Designer Nathan Turner gives one deserving family the house
of their dreams. And we're talking about Drew
Barrymore is very personal admission what she says she
hasn't done in 6 years and how it helped her find a new kind
of happiness. It all starts. It's still I still have to face
coming to play a clip from it. You know what? Sometimes there
are no tricks to what you what they say you're supposed to do.
I don't.

>> I wonder, yeah. Show you're
going to put him out it now it's gone. I'm glad she it.
It's a gone. Yeah. CRE you have to do is also this. They say something about
Vaseline or something on your teeth by someone who was in a
beauty pageant said it once on our show. But you get a little
gasoline on your to. Yeah, but they say I can't believe we
start the show every day with lipstick on, right? I know.
Well, some that's the way we roll that because you have a
little car, the DA who may be. I know what he's going to
understand. Just a matter.

I how's everything.
Everything's good. What's been going on with you? Thanks.
Good news. Good. I'm Haley did tiptoe in my room at 1 o'clock in the morning
with a picture she just threw for me and overnight, OK, now, how 0 to add. I was
very calm was like honey, we have to go. But I'll just
issue I go in and you know what? I'm going to put you back
to bed.

And while you're at school, I'm at work. And when
school worker over, we see each other. Okay. Thanks, mom.
I want some water tonight as I'm tiptoeing out as quiet as a
mouse. I hear my and it's hoped who's
in the body. Wait, I need you. I need you. So I thought I
can't be there for one. I was going to be outside for a
minute to see if it was a nightmare.

That was from one, 2, 2, one. At what time does your
alarm go off limits to them on the 15? So you have. And then
one hour I could because you know, when you're like now,
what about now? Yeah. So you've been up since one in the
morning? Yeah. Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But how are
you still so white it? You know what I thought? I thought as I was when I was
thinking up being cranky, I thought you know what?
There are people going up all my life. The jet not to be miss
Polly, but they look at it for something. Yeah. And I'm a
bullet for something that was kind of cute and kind of life.
You know, I care. So that's good. You're going on your
patience. Really love. Okay. Well, I don't know how to make
this transition, but Drew Barrymore opening up about her sex life.
That's a transition like it has a new block.

She said, well,
she wrote that she hasn't had an intimate relationship
center. 2016 split from her ex. Well compliment. But what's 20?
So how many years at 12, 20? That's thank you. I just
brainiacs. Okay. So so anyway, here's what she says that her feelings
about intimacy have evolved for, quote, Yes, I just finally
come to the epiphany. Would you read this? Could somehow it's
going to be like it's coming out of okay. All right. And she just
this is what Drew said. She's just friendly comfy up.
Everything that love and sex are simply not the same thing
or not.

It's what very true. Yeah. For now she's focusing on
parenting. She has 2 daughters. I mean, all of a lot comes and
every different way. Yeah. >> I also think our capacity to
love is and this. I think some people think one tapped out.
And then I think that that's not the case. Like I feel like
it expands its always expanding. That's what I feel
like. It's like if you've ever felt like you're totally topped
out with love and then you get a puppy and you're like, oh, my
God, I have room. You have your pregnant again.
Oh, my gosh. I have room for you. Meet a new friend. Oh, my
gosh. I have room like, yes. I feel like your heart expands to the
number of people who are entering into it. >> I know the other thing we've
we've talked about this, but what I love about true, you
know, we've seen the videos of her like the lighting and the
rain I've gotten to see year like it when she was at the
Harry Styles concert that she was like, delighted delighted
to be there.

Here's the thing. She's going to find what she's
looking for because she's open. She said she's not like I don't
have love of my cabinet. Sex and 6 years. Yeah. Instead,
she's like I have love in so many different ways. Yes.
And it fills me a yes, you know. And yeah, that's what I
love about her as a shrine to the beauty and the love and
every aspect of her life, it's just not in the
traditional one that we're all expected.

Right? And the NTS.
I agree. I agree. I think I think you're right. And
intimacy is a whole different ballgame. It's a different bag.
Don't even think about it. >> Jenna gets this. Look at
her. I that is terrifying. What kind of bag is it? You
know, it's a Ziploc haha. >> Something came up in the
morning meeting and this is interesting and it was about doing things alone.

Yes,
whether it be something as big as a bit of vacation or maybe
even going to a restaurant sitting at a table saying table
for one, getting a menu ordering and having your meal. >> As you know, I've never
really done things allowed. I was born with a partner.
Yep. I met Henry at age. 23. So had
you lived with anyone? I mean, have you ever lived alone
night? Live with my parents. I lived with my sister.

I have
roommates. I have a million friend. Yes, you do. And in
fact, like there was a period where it was scared to be
alone, I've realized. And now I mean, I have Secret Service.
Yes, I will. We ever won't arrive in. If I was alone, he
was alone. And in fact, during those times it was like I
without a little weird about being alone. I so how is it?
How do you feel now about it now? I'm desperate for a lot.
Yeah, you know, with kids, I backed right time, right?
And how can I get Mike? Please just leave me alone. You know,
but I also we've done something. I did something last
year for the first time by him and I realized it was the first
thing I ever done alone. And it was a little scary and
it was crazy. Liberate. Yeah. >> That is so and lightning and
beautiful. And it does show you that if you haven't had that
alone vacation or a long time.

>> I experienced experience.
Yeah, like there's what I mean. I guess I wasn't totally alone
with their bright was a retriever tree yet. But but but
still, you are living in a room by yourself. You're with
people. He didn't really know. You have to take that brave
step of going, you know, getting on the plane, but
yourself. >> I think there is some.
I mean, look, I've taken a couple of vacations alone and
one of them, I went to Mexico by myself. And I remember it
because I brought lots of books. I was like I'm going to
have my time. I mean, a lay on the beach of. So you're on the
beach in your reading and then you realize you're hungry.
And so you're like, do I go over there and eat and sit at a
table and cause? I think you start to feel the what you
perceive the feelings of others like home.

>> Yeah. She she want to join
notion of fake. Yeah. You can join you like poor thing. >> When you know and sometimes
you get that that feeling. And I think after like a day or
2, I think for me, at least it got a little bit like them.
Yeah. >> I mean, loneliness is a real
thing, you know, but at the same time, it's like the
bravery to be by yourself with your own thoughts lie. Yes,
there are not scared of that now. Now. That's right. So
you're so you think right now you're pretty good at being by
yourself. I'm really good guy. I love to be alone, but I need
it now. I want to go to Mexico by myself. I'm going to be king
alone in my pantry. No hiding from my kids. But I've never
done like something like that. Like to all right. Coming up
next, skies. >> Hot, celebrity fashion
trend. Okay. We're going to West way and whether they play
or whether they're in a coming up after this.

We're back. It's Tuesday.
We're kicking off a fun new fashion series. We're calling. >> Okay. So we're going to show
you hot style trend. Okay. Looking forward to this, then
we're going to weigh in whether to Slay. It's pretty simple, right?
The first one, it's >> a good many platform votes.
Slay said they slept. I love and hug. Come on. Now he gets ugly. Isn't Sunday.
All. >> Getting up for the comfort
of the feet. I think you just were.

I can't see those that
well, but I don't I think should be
worn in the house and get what Talia just agreed with me.
Well, and so did our entire staff do a great time. What is
the opposite day now that it was a slap on the
most fashionable? What what can I do? Have power, but first and
they feel like little cloud from my feet. Are they out?
Yes. That's where the in the House. Okay. Next stop. I'm begging you for this to be
in a message. I say so I would never walk around that.
Look, yes. Haha Halloween doesn't. That's that
means Slay. That means Slay all day. Just on October 31st.
All right.

That that was a long fashion week. So I add also
sported every Sunday. What's so funny? I'm sorry.
Alright, a headline in The Wall Street Journal recently is a
bra a shirt. Well, if you're that I know I
was going to entirely all the ground. It's it's an a for 90%.
Say it's an a for me. It's like that. Yeah. For them. It's
definitely a slight. Okay. Although I feel like you could
wear that. Oh, yeah, Larry. You've got great. Yeah, I can a girl. I do like a
bikini but little never in the history of what that's kind of like.

Yeah. Still roll with it.
I'm okay. But I know you love your chats. So you might like
this from NT has gotten bail. The cooperation with delays,
purse, clutch bag. How you know how much it is 18.
Haha. ICU. Last was according to The
New York Times, Young and stylish. People are wearing
jeans, unzipped unbuttoned and all that over all that unit. She's not just like wearing not
the Bobby Brown like she's going out of that.

That's hurt.
By the way. That's are instead that some of that, that's her
Instagram. She's at a farm model. Haha. People are better
Insta page. That is a campaign. And my
campaign know Sean says no, it's not. It's OK, you go to
the farm. You can do that. I mean, temps. We come in with
an Biden sept and pictures for one off. Yes, for with cards
that are thinking right now. I'm totally not. One time I
walk on the plane and my dress was stuck in my Spanx. I get
the head of respect from the plane. Haha. I play. Yeah. Really?
Sure. Okay. All right. Are you looking for love? It is the
perfect season for our relationship. Experts have
advice coming up right after We can't wait. Brandi Carlile
and Tanya Tucker will be here. Lauren Spencer Smith performs
her big hit. And your morning cup of coffee is about to get
an upgrade. That's all Wednesday on Hoda and Jenna. We're back now with a special
edition of Hoda and Jenna has relationship dilemmas.

We're delving into the
phenomenon called coffee season. You have no idea what
that is. >> We are going to explain with
the help of 3 day rule. Batch maker of dating expert Devyn
Simone and former bachelor star and author of Don't Text Your
Ex. Happy Birthday By All. >> Okay. Before they answer
your question, puts here a little bit more about modern
day dating.

>> As temperatures drop around
the country, people everywhere are looking to find love.
Whites and dating apps are predicted to increase as much
as 30% from October to February. And the season hits
its peak around Valentine's Day as 49% more relationships start
around that time. But how to find a partner remains the
biggest question. According to a recent New York
Times article traditional courtship is making a comeback
with nearly 80% of people this year reporting emotional
burnout with online dating. Is this truly the season of
love? Well, only time will tell. >> Okay, guys heard the
statistics don't really predict love. >> You know, I mean, what are
people online? Dating is coughing season.

Really a
thing. 72 passing season really is a thing. I don't know.
Why has that name? It's terrible. But coming season
really is a thing and we're not quite sure why. But there have
been studies have shown a mix of an increase of testosterone
around this time of year. A decrease in sun exposure.
An increase of those family activities where your nose the
on is like, well, who are you with? Yeah, all. >> All of that kind of
contributes to people wanting to cuddle up and cuff during
cut. So we have a lot of we have some viewer questions and
dilemmas. But Nick, if people are interested in starting
dating, you're in a relationship right now. What's
your best like kind of generic advice? How do you get in the
game? >> I just think you should just
keep it simple. It's easy to put a lot of pressure on
yourself and think why am I alone compare yourself to your
friends and family? I think if you just kind of have this open
mind sad.

You say yes to things, activities yourself out
there. You need people like an energy of like just, you know,
we're open-minded. I think it's a great place. That is. That's
what we always say. Yeah. >> Okay. First up, we have any
traffic from Natchitoches Louisiana. She is a question
press. >> The question is now that
much talent is an adult. How to get back into the dating
world. How do we start? How do we start out? We started I just
jump in the future. Celebrate this time for you do something
that makes you feel good.

So you know whether it's put on
your favorite outfits or switch up your hair but then go out
the social. So the reason why you want to start with feeling
good is because you want to kind of boost that confidence,
right? Because it can be a little scary getting back into
I get social. So it depends on your community because
different cities, different places have different things.
But you can even start with going to the new local
restaurant. That's maybe a hot spot. Go during like a happy
hour or busier time hit the ball. I drink to put ring, keep
your body language open and to make sure making eye contact
out and about don't sit and have a long your phone because
not a common approach. Yeah, that is not. What about it. >> She Nick, what do you think
that women should go up and say, hey, it's nice to meet
you, too.

>> I think we live in a time
where people are struggling to find any connection so
whatsoever. So if you feel something, if you're excited,
just go up in approach, someone give them a non-sexual
compliment, maybe complement their smile. Well, maybe just
say has you made my day by running into you? Make it easy
for them to respond is as opposed to just ask him a
question. Hey, you're hot. Do you believe all with me at a
little like the interests of this? It is easy for people to
say. Thank you like a NASCAR.

>> All right. Let's hear a
question from Lisa. She's from Whittier, California. >> And gender. So I had been dating a guy for
a while and he had to move cross country temporarily for
work. It's been a little over a year
now that he's been gone. We still are in contact but not
together. And I was wondering how long is too long before she
moved on? >> But yeah, I remember from a
couple weeks ago we did this. What is it like to weigh?
I agree. I think that to a year is a very long time without a
game plan, right? So if we know he's coming back in 6 months
role, we all play our what China just say.

Hey. >> Are you coming back? I mean,
I think the important she said is they're not together.
And so this is like that classic situation ship which is
becoming more and more prevalent situations have been
relationship. We're accepting last thing. You deserve to be
happy in a relationship action show. That's yeah. It's really
common is as and was like, hey, we're not dating but we're
together to act like boyfriend, girlfriend. But you don't have
the lead to and fizzling out the commitment. Yeah. >> Yeah. I think that she
should straight up. Have a conversation with a eunuch
Haitian is is key anyways, have a conversation. What's the
game plan here? And if it's not something that works for her,
then maybe she should move on. >> I think she should move on
to a next 10. He's from Viejo, California. >> I'm a girl from broke up
with me after 4 and a half years. That was 10 months ago. And now
she wants to get back together. But I'm not so sure that I want
to.

I'm curious to know your
thoughts. >> That's yeah. That's of
marrying. Yeah. Don't text or ex-girlfriend. I feel like
yeah. Dating as hard as we all know and often what happens
when people might break up a size, they find out pretty
quickly how challenging getting can be. And the thing about
when our access coming back that we don't like to maybe see
Arnett is that they would rather convinced themselves
that they made a mistake after they realize that maybe getting
a little hard to imagine. And that's the scary part
because they're very convincing. I made a mistake.
I want to, but she really did. She just realized I needed and
I realize you're in the right. >> They need to resolve the
issues. Whatever caused the break.

I can't go back into
ignoring what? What was exactly so we should color and say this
is what? What did it work now that you think can work out?
How are you different and yeah. >> What can be what is
different? Is that what's different? What can we work on?
Why are you back? I asked the why questions at you. You feel
a lot dating chair. Okay. Haha. Fist bump or high-five.
But in saying what family a fabulous new home makeover do
not mess this after reveal the top designers advice to help
make. Get more done. Shop more at
Home Depot dot com slash decor. >> While back, we asked you to
send us some photos of your outdated rooms that can use
maybe just a little bit of love. Well, one of those
submissions, what's from Kate and Kate and Tim Zena of SEC
U.S. on a New Jersey. Okay. They're empty nesters with 3
grown daughters and lived in their home for 30 years.
So we thought they could use a little help.

We called our
friend interior designer Nathan Turner, and he teamed up with
our sponsor, the Home Depot to give the family a modern
makeover. >> I'm here in New Jersey and
I'm about to meet the Zen a family who's been in the House
for Earth. >> 30 years and I think they're
in need of a makeover. Mine and nice to meet you guys. And I
love to see what you guys have here. Show me around. Welcome
to the 80's. >> Our mission update 3 rooms
starting with a little bit. We don't use it as much for
just 34 years-old. Believe it or not. When we first got
married, this was our furniture with 3 kids in the partners
enough seen as a challenge. My initial thing with walking
in the room is that it feels a little bit like a pass through.
It doesn't feel like I'm walking into where there's a
lot of gathering going on. Next up, the dining room, a
little dated. It gets a little tight, but we have everybody
here and, you know, left its families, friends. We just want
to be together.

I was about to see this through lighten and
brighten and it feels a little bit like it's closing in and
the main attraction, the Dan, this is basically >> heart of the house for us.
This is the primary area that the state and they are the most
of the time watching TV. >> I think we have a mixed
brick wood different would over here. There's a lot going on
and it's really dark. It is dark and a 5th. It is. It
doesn't feel like there's a lot of seating options. So I would
like you to have more flexibility, whether it's the 2
of you or you know, all 8 of you. >> Let's go shop home. The
court, Home Depot dot com. There's a ton of stuff. Let's
start with furniture. >> I like that. Something like
this because it's taking up a conditional while the court
like mayors and art were >> Lots of deliveries and assembly. It installed a
and I'm going to take this house and make it an updated
stylish town painting the woodwork and paneling made this
room light bright and it's technically pleasing and was
like to put him on the floor and get a sense of what they're
going to look like on the wall.

I love the blue on blue this.
I'm loving stature on taxes. That's going to go right up
against the law. >> Next, let's try that fan or
coffee table. I works. I think we're good.
Finishing touches. And now it's time for the big reveal. >> Well, my all my stuff ready
for my gosh. Okay.

What you're saying. Wow,
amazing. This is unbelievable. >> And then we have a big
family. So I really tweet to the furniture plan to end the
layout. So you can get a lot more people in here and this
can turn from being a pass through to a place to gather.
And we have a little reading enough behind you that can and
some additional pull up seating with the schools. As you can
see, everything doesn't match perfectly. It's not like a pair
of chairs. The reason that works is because we used mixed
materials that it all works out nicely because we stayed in the
same color palette.

All right. Let's go into the dining room. Okay. You guys recognize your dining
room. Wow. Yeah. As I said to you before, I really wanted to
lighten and brighten everything up. And I think that the
wallpaper was a really important factor. I wanted to
add texture and I really want to color. I love the new
trolls. But I think that the blue texture between these 2
rooms kind of brings everything
together. Also, I know I promised you an extendable
table not look like it, which is cool. This extends the
leaves are actually underneath it. So we don't have the storms
know they're all under there, which is great. All right.
So this is the room I'm most excited about because honestly,
I think it has the biggest. Wow. Wow, amazing. This is
unbelievable. The last time I was here, we talked about like
me money to lighten it up right up. And the job today was, oh,
my God. It's a bright red curtains. A road that would
yeah. Now not off.

The biggest thing for me, the painting and
I think one of the biggest things that people are so
afraid to have a paneled room or would rooms that are afraid
to paint at. I actually was happy when I saw the families
because I knew that it would give like a textured material
for me to paint. I would have never thought of that. Honestly
change this entire room. It just feels so Ben and light
and bright. Yeah, I can't wait so h****. You have so much
seeding. These are great who I love. Additional pull up
feeding. These are soft. You can moving around. This is
something I think a lot of people don't think you can do
you to the next.

I was trying to connect patterns with
patterns as long as it's in the same color palette and that's
what makes it look great. You are unbelievable. I just
know from bar. Oh, yeah. I remember there was a bar and
I just love this. It's really Charmaine. You know, Kate, 9
just celebrated an anniversary. And I got to tell you, this is
again for our whole family now we can spend even more time
together. So thank you so much for something nice this year. >> He a Christmas Tree. America
coming up next, what its TV obsession. >> Here, the show star and
Choi. We're going to chat with her coming up right after this.

>> You know, I've been at best
with this new fast upset that 3 steps up to get upset. It's
called Parker Track. It's on Netflix. It's about a smart and
vicious young lawyer. She tries to find her way in a cut
throat. New York City law robot drama, romance. There's a love.
I basically everything you want to show and it all centers
around this leading lady right here are in Cho who plays
paternity at Tahoe turning Ingrid yet much. Check it out. parents across a book on the
Interstate. You know what? I can run my
take the films about doing the right
thing That's where things. So you're a cynic idealism. Doesn't pay the rent soon enough for the money. >> I kept asking when we got to
the love. The love triangle part. I know because I started
watching it. Yeah. And I watched it through. It was one
of those. I was seeing him like what is his partner? Haha. >> I bet it was over. I not
watch the whole thing. I just sat right through it.

This is a
big moment for you. So can we talk about you for just a
second. Thank you so much. Land did this role. It's a
dream role for you. It's coming at this beautiful moment in
your life. What does it feel like to be in this moment with
the show right now? Well, it's definitely a dream come
true and it just feels really special. >> I feel like it's
groundbreaking and different for Asian Americans. And
honestly, it makes me feel like I'm sort of just beginning the
year, even though I'm I've been in it for years and years,
almost 2 decades.

And it just feels fun. I like I was going
to say. >> You're you're in your 30's,
like not just feel really rewarding. You're from a small
town in Texas. Amarillo, did you feel like you had
people to look up to like this on TV characters like Ingrid? >> Growing up. I mean, there
were Asian-American women I saw on TV, but it was it was roles.
I felt like I didn't really relate to see there, too.
Sex scene cool or a villain. And I was yeah, but I'm just
think this sort of an all American girl that didn't feel
American and being born and raised in America.

You think
that you are American and then one day someone tells you
you're you're not. And so I think it was always struggle
feeling like I didn't have a place. And that's sort of why I
ended up becoming in after myself. >> Well, I you started off I
think, liking law score. >> Yeah. I mean, I'm sure
you've heard every Asian. >> I think you can America.
You're either going to be a doctor or lawyer. Everything
else like doesn't really count. What did your folks when you
when you knew that law school wasn't really for you and you
want to take this other path? Well, I think every year there
are still hoping that it was just a phase and I was coming
back. I did, however, send them Ingrid, Young guns, Harvard
diploma. >> He are very who we we heard
like, sir, show. We love you. But now what does
she think of all of this? I do feel like you're giving
her sort of those lawyer dreams that she's always wanted, of
course, and I feel like >> they get it.

Now they see
what this whole journey was about and what kind of difference and make
seeing the response from young women, the American girls in
the U.S. just being like. >> Oh, my gosh, relating great
to this and just feeling seen she's clawing her way trying to
get up the ladder. She wants to be partners so bad and you see
what that ambition feels like. There are a lot of women who
feel bad and she's going to stop at nothing to kind of get
what she wants in the middle of it. There's this love triangle.
Are you at all? Think about your parents were thinking
watching this? >> It's not at all because I
feel like my mom. She's actually pretty hip of pop
culture and same with my dad.

They they know that it's just
acting. Yeah, I know it's fun. And also like I'm kind of
boring and quite conservative. So I've never really had too
much romance drama in my personal life. And so I feel
like it's fun because it's so different. What is so different
from me? Yeah. And there are elements where we definitely
relate just to people and as minorities it. But I think so
different email ambition is something that's really
interesting to tackle as Hoda said, yeah, it's a subject that
Ricky isn't always what can be tricky and not always
discussed. You know, right? I feel like we have sort of a
different standards. Yeah, the men,
right. You know, a woman is a bossa nova and it's called the
negative kind of yeah, I get it. >> I just want to be one of
many s a we want the season to. So will you please tell me when
a season 2? >> You're waiting. Yeah.
I mean that I'm going to do with their time
to crash.

Oh, my gosh. Out homes made out to because I
feel like when I beat a level and I've accomplished it, I
like I can now have now the snow I can. And if you don't,
you won't even go to bed Yahoo to get you ever do it while you
snack when the shows are stressful.
And Mike, I'm haha. >> So we'll look forward to
finding out when season 2 starts. But you can stream
season one of partner track on Netflix right now. So much
coming up next. >> Step out of this time.
Yeah. >> Officially the postseason
and they could use a new parent with a little flair for fall.
We've got to come out just to post as the 5 trends to rock right now. >> And with table one chapter,
it's all about the fashion, Ali, because rain boots aren't
just for rainy days anymore. He's kind of dry day. You can
wear these on a dry day. I mean, we saw action now and
Batavia sending wrapped up rain boats down the roadways.
Now we're seeing women wear them.

Yes, with jeans, but
also, you know, with mini skirts in such a way to. >> What would be cute when when
I-4 and yeah, these from forever. 21 would be cute.
Little how at 21 use your ATM. These are from a sauce. I love
this little cat. Yeah. Lot of great talent. I do have these.
I have the tools, right? And don't you love how you know
the knee-high boot is everything this year. But also
you still do the cranes and the off whites for fall it. Yeah.
The sort of update white box it right. And one of my favorite
new Charles is silver metallic take away at least everyone.
Give me an example. I mean, with your out. Yeah, hahah.
That's something very unusual. And they go with everything.
I called the metallics the new neutral as that. You know, that
white and the creatures are these are for for now. You
shopped was pretty a pretty portable and I love these.
You can wear them a higher you can scrunch down which is a big
crash. Yeah. And the square toe.

Haha, right. Cool Cowgirl.
Look, this is Jenna Country. Yeah. This is probably the
biggest trend and all that's the Western love. Huge like the
French, right. From a soft these statements routes from a
cure. I mean, have you ever so often a bright red haha.
He said number 3 guy, right? It's a statement. That's a big
trend and go for the gold in this little ankle. Katie, he
needs to wear these Tolley. Are you? And yes, time you look
where that was. The big yes. Platforms are chunky their
funky. It's a big trend. And you know what? A great pair
of platform boots the other day, Donna. Yeah, hacking with
17. You know, the band said that's so great. So you know,
we're seeing bold pops of color green. It's a key color this
this season. You're going to see a lot of it last but not
least CA for the UN platform which nobody can get their
hands on. But guess what? Today? Dot com, you can get
them up order. Yeah. This is a style yea or nay. I think I
said yea. I mean that we take that.

It was a lot of people.
Haha he now. Do you guys like that?
Look on Hoda. >> We can't see it. Well, I'm
trying to help there. Yeah. >> I got dressed. He would wear
that. Well, I mean, where the mud like anything out here,
Amazon, they're going to do this today dot com and you can
3 orders and they should be there by the holidays is that
many ultra and these are so great. You're seeing them on
celebs everywhere and b's. I like that. I look how good I
look at my house and the how and Larry Smith to you.

You
guys are going to freak out about tell us about the case of
these are from the scoop for Walmart collection, you know,
with the creative director, I mean, fashion visionary
Brandon Max. He is also, you know, project runway judge
and he's making I do. These are here laying few early 30's or
dollars 34. So this is the coffee fields that and Co CFO
for feels real. Good job. That's right. A great job.
I think that you can check out these boots today dot com slash
and we're back right after this. You might say are we have another great show
we've got and we got can. Yeah. Your
question marks, Spencer Smith perform search top chart
topping dog >> When it comes to paying
woman at work. That journey offers up questions for women
like me. That's why I'm sitting down with 3 trail Blazers.
Women that stand out as beacons of inspiration for so many
women across the globe to chat about our journeys and debate
about what it means to be a successful woman at work.

>> As the Daughters of
Vietnamese refugees, Vanessa and Kim Pham grew up watching
their mom cook traditional dinners from scratch every
night, but quickly found that their favorite flavors worn
represented in the grocery store. Well, Vanessa Climb the
corporate ladder and Kim worked in startups and venture
capital. They channel their entrepreneurial spirit to
create products to fill the void they saw in grocery store
aisles in Twenty-twenty, Vanessa and Kim launched.
Stop the Pantry staple Grand, bringing loud, proud Asian
flavors. >> To any kitchen Reshma Sow Johnny was an early
investor in on top and over the past 3 decades has been a
warrior for women and girls everywhere. After starting her
career as an attorney Reshma challenge, Democratic
Representative Carolyn Maloney and 2010 House elections Law
Maloney won the election.

Russia may use the experience
to elevate and help others along the way. In 2012 freshman founded Girls
who code an organization that aims to increase the number of
women in computer science. She's the author of 4 books,
including her latest pay up and founder of the Marshall Plan
for Moms, a national movement advocating for the rights of
working mothers like herself. >> Throughout my career, I've
written 3 books, Bill, my lifestyle brand Bumble Bhalla a
QVC and for 12 years have led the Today Show's steals and
deals segment recently. I launched 2 new shows shop today
and she made a series that profiles female business
owners. In my latest venture shop, the scenes, the
groundbreaking platform gives viewers the opportunity to
virtually step on the set of their favorite show or movie
and buy items with one click. >> The old rules for working
women may have required us to fit into the corporate mold is
this is a memo that right now women will be sent home if they
wear makeup for us.

Just seeing one quarter inch sacrifice, our
personal lives for opportunity. I mean, in your whole life
because and stay in our lane. >> We calculate mathematics
necessary to enable launch and landing for the space program.
Pretty heady stuff. These cities and that women have this
sort of >> time to give these outdated
ideas a much-needed makeover. I'm so excited to talk to all
of you. >> About being boss isn't being
basi. Let's talk about being a girl boss and let's brag about
ourselves a little bit because I feel like as women, we don't
do that. And that's so what does it mean to you to be a
girl boss, what it means to grow glasses like success at
all costs. And I think for a lot of us,
especially as of this month, some other like COVID crushed
us. We've been you're b***** feeding in closets and doing
the laundry between our our meetings and like launching our
companies and trying to basically a mom and be a CEO
and just in smiling the whole way.

It was all a big lie. And I think for so many of us
and we bought into this girl boss lean in culture that we
just had to jump on an express train. That was all it was
going to take. And so after the pandemic, I just are telling
the truth. It's a very interesting perspective.
So do you think our boss has a negative connotation? I think
that. >> Term girl boss and a lot of
the energy that comes with that term is of a seizure of flight.
This boys club era where to 60 does woman. I need to be just
like the boys. I need to work just like the boys. I need to
communicate and interact in the workplace just like the boys.
And I think that has led to a lot of toxic hurtful behavior.
And I think what we're seeing is resurgence or reclamation of
that word where it's about reclaiming yes, power, yes
grows but on our own terms.

>> I would not notice if
somebody the other day said you are the only girl on this call
of 30 men. I didn't even notice. Would you notice? Yeah, yeah. I noticed. Yeah.
I definitely noticed as well. The thing I would like love to
put in a little bottle of perfume, right? Just like spray
at is that like they've got nothing on us. They got nothing on us. There's
always competition now. But the thing is we've had to compete, right? It's like we've had to
actually be better than for Vanessa Kim, like it took more than just
competence and performance to get to the level where they're
at their product in holes, Whole Foods. So I think the ha
moment for us is that stop buying into this. But like we
are actually not qualified that we've always been caught.
So girl boss is of Estes of that.

So is the word imposter
centered. So are the words having it all. And I think
what's exciting about this moment is like, I don't know
what the alternative is yet. I just know that what we've
been doing doesn't work it in part of why does the work is
that it hasn't been shining a light on what's really wrong?
What's really wrong is that we don't have structural support.
We live in a society, right? That doesn't have childcare and
paid leave. And so those are choices that women in
particular are actually facing. >> We need a new language.
We need a new rule, right? That is what do you feel for
me? The struggle personally has been either under shooting are
over shooting constantly because there's this.

So
there's a clear idea of what I should strive for and in doing
that. I can't just be true to myself. And so my journey has
been, how do I embrace my vulnerability? My connection to
my emotions in a very genuine and authentic way as a leader.
But I would say a lot of the narratives externally have made
that may be hard for me at times. >> I believe that you could be
commanding and take over room and smart and also be sensitive
and vulnerable and feminine.

I don't think those things are
exclusive of each other. Do you agree? I absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
I think that there's a generation of women who would
say that's not true that you shouldn't, you know,
showing cleavage should wear red lip. I think women have
always had to basically reconciled who they are and
their own identities and to what they're supposed to be
their leader. >> I think what we're fighting
for is like, let's just break all of these narratives and
just let women be whoever they want to be in roles. That
leadership, how that looks in might be coming in might be
powerful. Maybe domineering might be quite. It might be
vulnerable. We just want there to be multitudes within that
definition. >> Are we doing that? You're in
a floral just and Gina, don't you think? I just showing up
here and having this conversation of saying, you
know, this is is what's going on now
is part of the process.

>> Yeah, I feel like the times
where it's most tested are times where we're in a room
with what would be perceived as like a keepers are people who
get to control where opportunities and resources go.
I mean, we have been meetings with investors where they've
called us young and emotional when we're trying to pitch them
right. And I I'm not sure that that would be that language
would be readily available if they were speaking to 2 male
found. It's really hard to figure out how to shop at than
to flee from there because you don't want to be punished for
it.

>> Will you dress for the
situation that you're going in or will you stay true? >> I firmly believe in
integration. That is like one of my biggest hopes for women
everywhere is that we can be our full selves and every
situation that we don't have to compartmentalize different
parts of ourselves for different contacts. So I show
up like this with investors. I show up like this with you
all.

I hope with this with my team because I really believe
that the next stage of leadership that I think this
generation is really pushing forward. >> Is like wholeness in our
leaders. Have any of you been called bossy? And if so, do you
find that to be negative or do you find that to be an adjective? That's OK, it's certainly been come. >> I think I liked by. Yeah. >> I think the reason we don't
like the word bossy is when we use it to refer to girls in
particular, it's seen as a negative thing. So it's like
we're saying goes, don't be bossy, actually give other
people room, be quiet, you know, worry about how other
people think about you. And all of that kind of conditioning is
what makes us as women small and not able to kind of lead
and be ourselves. Whereas when boys are basi their leaders, I
think as long as kindness is in the thread of whatever boss,
the means to you that it's acceptable.

I mean,
in whatever form that is. I think a lot of people,
though, have different views on boss, the stereotypes. And we
checked in with some people. Let's take a look. >> I see young girls signs and
masks were always make it subject in school. I'm studying
psychology nickel to pursue a career in the state as the
science is it to find joy and some problems. But I were you
being overlooked. I cannot help noticing that the Mueller
positions to research and a secure room in a cooler mining
representation in this space is even harder. My question is,
how can it overcome the challenges of being 100% of my
19 to 16 some PR? >> Her have been there. I think the first thing is
having patience and grace with yourself because so much of
this is beyond your control. So much of this is actually
institutional bias and inequity that is like built into a lot
of these industries and fields.

So it's not just a personal
challenge that you're trying to over comments, actually
something much bigger than you sometimes. And so I would say
just like having Levin patients for yourself as you start like
navigate, that was first for me. We have got to really start
unwinding. >> All of what we have been fed
can wake up to this like, yeah, the of like will like
it's kind of stacked against us and it's never really about
performance. We have to start getting to a place where we are
our finding the confidence within
ourselves. So is that the new rule working to find confidence
in your south that no matter what is set in it out, outwardly inward,
you find that strength? >> Yes, I do think it's a lot
about an learning some of these narratives that maybe were
meant to be empowering historically but have been
internalized as a lot of pressure to be perfect as the
daughter of you to me is refugees.

I constantly felt
like I had to prove myself. You're trying to clear this
bar. That's impossible consistently. >> So I feel like I had to do a
lot of the un work of an learning that and practicing a
feeling of enough nus migrants or refugees to from Uganda that
came here. And it's almost like a double edged sword of being a
woman and being, you know, the daughter of immigrants is
that, you know, our parents to fit into America. We're trying
to shrink themselves. So the idea of like taking voice and
taking space was not at all of how I was taught. >> You know, that is literally
the the heart of our brands like Psalm is rooted in the
victim's face. So which roughly translates to rowdy or
rambunctious is actually a negative term like my parents
would chastise us. It will be. So so we love this idea of
reclaiming and being so proud and loud because that was
something, you know, especially as Asian Americans fighting the
model minority myth that we just never felt we had access
to.

I constantly flatten silence and erased and we wish
wanted to build a business that would be like a middle finger
to that. >> So enamored haha, all of
you. I love that. We're going to continue this conversation
when we come back >> I think as women, we put too
much pressure on ourselves for this finding balance. So I think that in order to be
successful as an entrepreneur or anything, you need to take
time for yourself, whatever that means for you. I'm absolutely like I think
that I learned this when I start having children, you
know, have a 2 year-old and an 8 year-old inmate. They will
take every piece of the pilot, right? And I think also because we
live in this like this culture where like mom has to be a
martyr. It's almost you feel guilty if you go do something
for yourself. So like I love to work out, but I do it at like
07:00AM when that the babies are getting up when the dog
wants to go out because I do not yell figure it out.

I'm not
here to get a knife or go do it. So it's not just about
doing something for yourself. You have to do it at a time.
That's a literally inconvenient for other people to learn how
to put yourself first, I guess just challenging that. Why is
that important that it be inconvenient for other people?
We're so conditioned to be self-sacrificing. And so we actually have to like
flip the script and actually do it. That's do some. It is very
selfish or very self-serving. And so you start to learn how
to put yourself first.

I think that an important part of this
is to acknowledge like I disagree with that. But that's what works for you.
Yeah, and I respect that while I still have my path to being
selfish of whatever bird that is like, what's your let's put
it in quotes. Yeah, because I do want to call it that.
But what is your selfish? >> Well, actually, I had to
fundamentally change the way I think about what like what
success looks like in my life and used to be like, OK, if I'm
successful, my career that will make time for the other stuff.
And I've had to be like, wait a second. Is that really
how I want to prioritize and does it actually more look like
I I hope to achieve some clear some of our weather now.
It doesn't have to be this high, but in many aspects of my
life and even you know, saying like doing things for myself
when in actuality, it's like if I'm nourished in my life will
be a much better scene to that.

Yes. >> I actually when I was
younger, did work 24 7 and looking back thought I was
unhappy. And isn't that the end goal? >> I don't know. I for me play
it like you're working in playing are equally as
important and both is a better by prioritize both. I turned 30
this year and I was like, oh, man, I kind of lost some,
perhaps some of my 20's to this energy of sacrifice and work
hard no matter what. And those are years and never get back.
One really pivotal moment for me was when I was invited to
something.

>> And I used to say at this, I
have that or somebody asked me to work. And now I just say I'm
going to pass EXO if it's appropriate or not, with no
excuse the ability to say no without an excuse the
importance of that. This is honestly something that my
husband I've been talking about. It's not the time for
him to go on a trip because you're like exhaust and
stressed out because the kids below just say no. But I think
that the concept I'm always saying, yes, just pass. It just
passed the reason perhaps why feels hard to. >> To say no is because
sometimes aside, Ali, we don't respect women drawing
boundaries like that is seen somehow as negative or bossy or
unreasonable when in reality drawing boundaries is the best
way to like clearly communicate what you're capable of doing. >> Like a muscle that you're
building only for yourself, but in terms of how other
people perceive you and what they can expect from what they
can take from you. And so even in friendships or
relationships, there's a very healthy play center, a
boundary.

And I think the all passes a form of just showing
that that, yeah. >> I think saying no is also
kind of a private also ending this kind of hold also culture
that too. We spoke to some other people and they shared
their stories with us about trying to find balance. And he
has our next question. Take a look. >> Well, you know, in an
immigrant family, I learned to view the world to very
practical, I stability in financial security among my top
priorities when I chose my career. >> The 20 years I have
successful and stealing Korea and the medical field. I want my kids left an empty
nester. I found myself wondering if there was more to my life in my second act. I am an
actor. Michael is to bring
authenticity to AP. I stories my new career, something just for me and the sets Maisel
on fire. My question is how can I focus on personal
fulfillment in impact on society in my career? >> I know that you as like my
dad was like to be a doctor or an engineer.

It was an honest,
of course, that she was a doctor. It was clear that that
wasn't her, which she wanted to do that was probably for. >> Then I think sometimes were
fed this narrative of like if you love what you do, you'll
never work a day in your life or like, you know, doesn't
matter. Just follow your passion. And I think sometimes
or should be like an asterisk to that. I know for Vanessa and
I like being the daughter of refugees. There's always an
element of like, OK, we don't have generational
wealth. We don't have a safety net to fall back on. And so we
would love to be able to dream all the way and go after that
100% all the time.

But I think that S what S and I were able
to do is like >> finding our own path forward
with our north star of for us Asian flavors, a nation stories
is president off the film and part of the recipe for balance?
I think so. I'm very spiritual in the Hindu and they say for
us, it's like what is your time when you put this earth to do so? I very much feel like my
calling has been to be a warrior to be fined or in my
case cider for women and girls. And so I have so much to film it in doing the work that I do,
which I think allows me then to have a lot more quote, balance
in my life.

A lot of what I'm that balance in my life is
making the space for the work that I meant to do and having
the joy that I want to have my family. So do we want to say
the new rule for balance is having the ability to say no
with grace. I'm taking time for ourselves
with no excuses. The goal being happy. I want to be there. Yeah.
The next la you that. Yeah. I'm on the way. I think that's
really powerful. Okay. On that note, we will be right back
with much wind >> as a CEO. I always say to
people who I work with is are you happy? Are you enjoying
what you're doing? So do you find joy in your work and to
you make it a point to find joy? >> Yeah, I feel so blessed.
I mean, listen, I think for a long time I was a good Indian
girl in the daughter did did the jobs that I was supposed to
do to make my parents happy and to pay off that student loan
debt.

And I was miserable, you know, in my early 30's
edges hit rock bottom and what that bottom look like. A lot of tears. A lot of is
what is the rest of my life? Because I knew what I was doing
as little girl like I wanted to be a change agent. And so being
a corporate lawyer and that corporate job at a hated, I was
like this can't be it. And so for me, I ran for United
Congress against an 18 year incumbent. I got crushed. But it was the best experience
because it taught me that failure just have to break me. And it taught me put me on my
path for the life and for the work that I was meant to do.
Now, when I circles could, if you asked me if I was going
to be a nonprofit leader with doing a nonprofit to teach
girls to code, which ones you're crazy, I was a poly sign
major.

I thought nonprofits really sleepy and slow like
that was not the plant often is what we're trying to look for
the title in the job and that focus on the work and now I'm
launching my next profit. The Marshall Plan for Moms were
not fighting for moms and fighting for working women to
create new structures. Again, it's not necessarily the vehicle. It's to work. I really admire what you just said. And. >> And thank you. Are you
happy? You know, I when you keep talking about your family,
do you take a step back and do that to everyone say we're so
proud of you? >> Oh, my gosh. Our parents are
actually like a huge part of our story on some story.
And actually, it's been a it's as much as building on.

Some
has been a professional journey. It's been a personal
journey and it's been a familial journey where there
are many nights where I called my dad crying whenever we've,
you know, had a big obstacle come our way or a failure.
In some sense end, I I didn't go. I just want to make you
proud. Like part of why I'm doing what I'm doing is because
like, you know, I want to do right by you and mom and I feel
like this is part of that.

And my that is the first person
to tell me like stop right there. You have already made us
proud. It's been a journey of of on learning that that
narrative that I've created in my head that like that, I am you know that I have
to do that for them. I always thought that self fulfillment
would come join and cell phone that would come together.
And I realize that you can feel so fulfillment, but you still
have to defend your joy and your access to that in a really
hard job. I think that. >> Finding joy, as you you
really put it beautifully and act and really articulated.
It is a responsibility that we all have to dedicate ourselves
to.

And we spoke with one woman who is sharing her story.
Take a look. >> I've been to some of my
dentist for over 30 years from 07:00AM to 04:00PM.
I work at the dental clinic at the United States. Navy grants
a marine base. I entered the profession because I want to
make a positive impact on people's health care. I try to
balance being a professional well, bringing positivity and
laughter to the workspace. But sometimes the repetitive
nature of my job is monotonous. My question to you is after
being in my field for so many years, how can I stay excited
about my work? >> I think getting stock is a
very common, especially with what we've all been through
over the past few years.

So what would your advice be? >> What's helped me when it has
started to feel like a grind is honestly like finding joy
outside of work. Give me an example like I mean in the
beginning, especially launched on some which we may of 2020's
are right in the pandemic. And remember those first couple
months, I was working every day like second, I woke up until
like 10, 11, midnight easily because what else are we doing?
And I remember just like getting on one like scooter
ride one afternoon and like that brought me so much, joy.
And then I started making it a habit was like, okay, at least
once a day. I just need to leave my Brooklyn apartment.
All wear a mask. All just ride around Brooklyn for 20 minutes.
No destination. And I found that even just making those
little breaks like out, come back into work. And yes, I
would still be working after dinner, but I had a lot more
joy and excitement, ally contract with my coworkers or
tackle creative problems because I had a moment just to
myself.

I could really relate to what she was saying because, >> you know, I felt that way
kind of year, 7 or 8 into girls. A coat as a guy built the model, every
200 million dollars. You know? >> I say that so casual, but it
was what that this is my point. I got to that place where it
like all the pain that here's the crime exhaustion that this
is going to happen like I kind of you can ship when you're not
like I've got to figure that out, right? And and then you are kind of
bored, I think for a lot of us. >> We just kind of stay because
we think we're supposed to like a joke. When I decide to step
off across the COVID. I didn't even tell my husband. I tell my
dad, I didn't my friends. Everyone would have said, are
you crazy, right? Why would you step away from the thing that
you built? But I wanted to feel scared
again in a phrase. I love that.
So is that the new rule that there is joy in being scared?
Oh, yes, the best things come from discomfort and fear not
have I really like that because it's comforting to know that other people feel
that way.

Yeah, well, you guys are my people. And I think
that's what we want to get out of this as a general new rule
is that there is room and space for so many incredible women.
So thank you and thank you all for joining us. And we look
forward to hearing from you and we will see you next time out >> Hi there I'm Jill Martin I'm
45 years old and I was single for 44 years. Well once I fully
found myself I found my left on the today show and share the
latest trends and inspirational stories.

But it talent haven't
gotten into I got engaged twice to the same man and now I know
the Golden rule to be happy. Hi guys I'm takes David in
London, New York, la and San Francisco now I use my tiny
microphone to give out advice to millions of people on how to
date have fun and be true to yourself.

>> I am Kasey million in 57
years all that they should take Dutch TV goes on there and and
I have worked with 1000 people on their lives and I can tell
you that it is not about finding the
right person it's about. >> I changed over the past few
years and if you're dating the past to love can be hard to
navigate it makes the just feel well. 3 different women of different
ages different backgrounds are coming together to rewrite
them. >> This is pretty cool because
nothing is off limits were here really talk and really redefine
the rules so I feel like this pandemic has been so messy for
everybody and dating has been something that has been so
tough and it was tough enough before let alone after this
mask, so what has the past 2 and a half 3 years been like
for you you know I think that the pandemic really held up a
mirror for all of us and made us all examine our lives what
we want for ourselves from our partners and in that way you
know that's a little bit of a silver lining right because we
really think about what we want however, I think our phone
addiction and the whole online portion of dating has gotten
completely out of control in the past 2 years because we're
all completely addicted to our phones in a way that we never
have been before so dating and you know the apps are all game
if I'd.

>> And what about you I feel
that the pandemic was an opportunity to really take
stock of where I was in my life all the things that are filling
up my life, the career like friendships brunch. I realized we know that stopped
that being alone was not a life plan like I needed to pay more
attention. >> To my personal
relationships, I could relate to what you both said you know,
I I like to concentrate on silver
linings, especially after this mass and what I've gotten
brought shown the breath of it is to really go narrow and deep
by started the pandemic breaking up with my fiance and
ended it planning wedding wow well we've been video dating if
you will with some singles and a couple of and the one thing
we heard over and over is that some I'm baggage can weigh you
down, but it doesn't have to take a look.

>> I was married twice and I
got divorced, I started over again so for the last 2 years.
I've been online dating. I did fall for someone and I
had a big disappointment. I've got an e-mail from a woman
asking what was happening with me and her boyfriend who she
had been dating for 2 years and then it came out very quickly,
he's been dating many many women 6 to 8 that I know a lot
of letting them all think that it was exclusive and creating
this alternate life or that of those women so it makes getting
back into the dating pool again even a little scarier been
trying.

>> I was very comfortable
telling by what I had to because it was I was talking
basically to a stranger and never see again. >> It's not like school plan
that we went into the kitchen. I hope you know the back of my
little device but that we you know that was really a plan. >> It's to to talk to you I
think little by little I I showed you a little more of my
anxiety. Ice to hide it. But I quickly realized that
there is somebody is going to come for me and that could be a
scene and the fact that something is stressing out of
making it comfortable.

I think because I understand. >> So let's just we're all
going to call ourselves out here because we agree to all be
honest. So you've been divorced one or 2 I've been married and
divorced 3 times. >> Now the thing that was
important was that I had learned my lessons at the end
of my 3rd marriage, I was like oh, wow I am doing every single
thing wrong in relationships I had to look at myself take the
whole relationship House down to the studs and do it
differently doing on what was the biggest. I was believing in
the romantic fantasy I was like. I had a lot of things
where I I could not tolerate uncertainty.

So what that meant
is that I got in relationships that we're all on from moment,
one. >> That's a big big I like not
there yet. Yes it because yes, and I couldn't tolerate that. >> So I ended up getting
relationships with the only qualification is that you work
and leave me from day one. And that comes out of my
personal history out of my baggage and my baggage is I was
a foster child I was given out like I had a lot of intense
stuff that I was bringing into my relationships that I needed
to process before I was going to be able to form a secure
attachment. So by the time I got in the relationship, I'm in
now was he hasn't like yeah of course, yeah, a time where that
flag and yes, he was like that's a concern tonight and I
was like OK, here's what I can say.

I have not lived with or
married anyone in 16 years. I did my where I I have to be
responsible for my life and everything I create. >> That so it's interesting
because you you know say that you give advice. Yes, and I
think you're like yes, I do. And and so many young girls
with since you what your friends say. All right your patterns or your
baggage. So let's say going into the nation's I things that
they would say I'm I'm pretty I'm I have a pretty good
attachment style. I mean I fell in love last year as all my
followers know and I felt really hard really fast.
You know, he ended up cheating on me but but but that's you
know it's actually interesting in the context of this
conversation because I I say leave the baggage, keep the
lesson. I think you can always learn something but you don't
have to carry the hurt. I had you know, it's falling in love
so fast it was getting I had what I called boyfriend
sickness because I was just like heart eyes emoji and and
you know I got my heart broken but here's the thing.

I spoke
about it publicly because I thought it there's so many
younger people who do follow me out there and listen a lot of
people get cheated on it's a thing that unfortunately
happens all the time. It's not about you okay, it's something
that the other person day I don't feel embarrassed that I
fell in love, I don't feel ashamed that I trusted the
person I was in love with. It just you know that was on
him. So the lesson actually isn't
anything to do with. And then the cheating it had what I took
from it is actually something beautiful which is that I I
remember how much I love being in love how did you find out. She TDM to me wow use it in he
had a girlfriend.

Yeah, it was it was just a random it was
like it was the cup in the Saudis. It was yeah was she dme
what she what was she was she was one of my followers.
And so it was you know it was it was really painful. It was
in the moment, I was in total disbelief and so I took this
very raw tiktok me crying and explaining what happened and
how I felt and I thought if if there's young women out there
who respect me or falling near think I'm cool or whatever and
I can show them that you know what happened to me and it's
something that I did and that's it silver lining right we can
take this pain and chart turn it into something like a
teachable moment or at least you know get something out of
it and I got thousands and thousands and
thousands of messages young people writing in saying you
know, I got United really person that I watch all your
old videos and I realize like it's nothing that I dead it's
about the other.

I always feel like have to look that water seeks
its own level. >> There's a part of me that
needs to see certain things and it's like dating is, you know
your baggage is your teacher right. It's not about feeling
shame that you have baggage. Yeah, it's about allowing
yourself to see where my here to grow yes. So it's
interesting because you led me into my own high maybe even the
sky. >> But I think it's helpful so
I will discuss it and I haven't but so at the beginning of the
pandemic we were just fighting all the time and my fiance Eric
is just like a love and a wonderful human being and
shares the same moral values as I do and our at fundamental
values and we're just fighting all the time and I was not
picking my battles and I'm not blaming myself right okay all
right, but my staff at that time and his staff did not
match a rifle and I wasn't willing I wasn't willing to
change my the way I reacted to a staff my strategy word to accommodate.

So he basically
said things like if you don't you know this is not going to
work this is not going to work I was like I'll never leave me and then one day he was like I
can cite any way and I was. >> Wow I can't imagine. >> I was really bad time and
really long time and and it caused me to re evaluate
what was important to me. Yeah now I am so proud of who I
am as a human being now I am on you know a path that like. >> If you if you walked away,
and you said to somebody I really like that Joe I'd be
like oh that's strange I thought we had a really has
come to be having a bad day at work if somebody said oh she's
you know, she's ugly somebody said that an instagram is
traveling the way you look at it like oh I'm so sorry who
like to yeah, I know the path that I'm on so has not changed
he says he has but he has and I have changed and I am so
grateful >> that I was given the other
opportunity to I called him after 16 months have spoken you
had spoken at all not in 16 months, I said if you walk out
the store we will never speak again, wow, and >> yeah so I called him and I
was like you know you're in my dreams.

>> And I think we're making a
play for the stake and this is why. >> And musical what would it
look like and then I was like on I was I was like the 12
hour. Com. >> But you know, it's I feel
grateful for the other opportunities and it leads me
into this way that I live now and I
think you'll both relate to this which is this save draft
approach when something gets like you know, when you just get to
the huge sum but it says something or something happens
in your immediate Le set off yeah and you want to like send
an e-mail or call somebody or react. I just saved draft. Yeah, my
numbers, 20 minutes, some people it takes an hour 20
minutes, I have a different like life is is 90%.

How you
react to understand what happens about it and use that's
the coolest thing that you did that that growth work. >> And now not only are you
with the love of your life, but you are happy or 2 we'll be
right back. Some say to underwhelmed with
your profile and wowed them on the date others take a
different approach called catfishing. >> I dedicate this one time in
the picture issues scheme this movie for eyes. And her voice
oh my God, I still remember every voice was a. >> It was some special seeing
pictures nothing and just need at this point we're basically
dating. But we haven't seen each other. My friend point I was like man
if you know these something a little different. And then one day to get some, I
got to tell you. She got real quiet. She was going online,
she was taking the this girl who was like a model. My heart
is crushed crushed.

>> I matched with this guy at
all. He asked me to transition into what that real
boy now good morning. >> And so then we dove into
this really intense long conversation I spent the entire
day talking to him, I'd say around 12 hours the next
morning's. >> When I woke up I had likes
to paragraph on text message from him saying that he was
like falling in love that's what started raising more red
flags and I think that screen shot my friend I realize that
he had lied all the metadata. >> And from each of the photos
that he was sending me there >> One of my friends to write
the FBI agent of our group came was nothing. back and she was like. This is
the real guy, here's his actual profiles and then I confronted
him that made the tick talk about it. >> What do you think about you
know what I think is that I have to be much less concerned
about the people out there who are coming to get me then I and
who I am being so for example, the one girl talks about
spending 12 hours on the phone with someone don't spend 12
hours, 70 have a boundary spend 20 minutes on the phone with
somebody because that guy who's cap fishing or that girl is cap
fishing is the pending on you having permeable boundaries
when you see a red flag like.

>> I take it got the lungs or
guardian angels, I mean seriously if someone is telling
you that they love you. And you've never even been in the
same room as them that's of flaming red for a classic case
of love bombing. I mean we see this happen when our says this
all the time, you know they rope you win in the first
couple of days there they're all the sudden using we early
on that when we do this when you meet my when we need my mom
next week and you know all this stuff, yeah actions speak
louder than words he really does have to got checked you
have to get the confidence in yourself and gain that
confidence in your south to know this is what I want this
is what I like this is what I'm looking for and I think that
leads me to our next topic which is kitten fishing.
I don't even know what this was a lot of people don't know
they're doing it is putting those filters are lying about
your age, you know just these little white lies him some time
to see you're thinking this is the only way that all be loved
right right, that's what subconsciously is happen.
When you add an extra and when you take a couple years off
your age, you're basically saying as I am I'm not worthy
to accept lot and that's the major problem I don't I I took
a photo of myself without makeup and then I added this
very popular filter.

And we >> A photo of it that I can
show you so if I were doing have. this just sort of I was just
posting something I wanted to highlight a t-shirt that's one
thing but to put that on a dating app I I want and I don't
want to look like I was like yourself what you want when
someone's attracted to you. >> On a dating app you want
them to say wow I like that not I like the filtered version and
it you know, I can't imagine the anxiety that it causes if
you are putting filtered overly filtered or face tuned pictures
of yourself and getting up then the anxiety of meeting a person
in real life and knowing that they're going to see a
disconnect another term that we hear a lot about and is is
really I think precipitate a lot of women not men not
putting themselves out there.

>> Is ghosting OK, let's talk
about ghosting yes ghosting could be the best thing that
ever happened to you so to me, you know rejection is God's
protection, right, it's like if somebody goes to all it means
is that they did not see themselves in a long-term
relationship with the EU and they do not have the emotional
skill to handle the intimacy that is required to break up
with you in person. So they can't be vulnerable. Whatever
it is in which case you know nama stay. >> Because they couldn't do the
relationship, I think I share your sentiment but I say it a
little differently I always tell my followers ghosting is
small the energy. It is the opposite of confident in how
hard is it to pick up your phone and say, hey really liked
getting to know you these past couple weeks. I don't actually
feel romantic vive I respect you so I want to be straight up
with you. Good luck out there that's really hard actually an
amount of time that we could save one another for just up
front with an anti coast time yeah like just send a text be
kind of you know what I hate even more than go staying is
what you call bread cramming so bad timing is like a soft
ghostwriting yeah, they don't completely goes to they just
reach out from beyond the grave once in a while and and you
know what's so bad might want to someday they're really
leaving you on the back burner.

They're putting you on simmer
their push you to the back just in case their board one weekend
coming up is culture dad for ever that I hope so rules for finding love and the
one thing we've been hearing over and over from couples is
that dating has become way more intentional. >> With the pandemic when I was
stating I really thought that I was looking for like the person
who wanted to social events all the time and be out in the
public eye. I'm definitely more nonchalant I thought that to be
a power couple both of us had to have that personality.
I realized what I was really looking for was somebody I
could be happy with at-home somebody that made me feel.

>> Or it hasn't toward course,
but you know we got engaged after 8 months. Mary, a few months out. Twins are just part of the
world. >> Our past relationships,
we've definitely struggled skipping over red flags putting
our needs loss and you know staying in relationships, the
longer than we wanted to out of the year that will never find
love again stressful absolutely. Well. So once he
started loving ourselves, we felt confident in who we are
and you track to each other what else to tell it was
beautiful. >> It's almost intentional
dating. You know what's being called the n-word your
authentic self like what I really want to I want to be in
a committed relationship they want to I want to have kids you
get that out of the way pretty early I before I think people
are a little bit like I would campus and what I was trying to
say to people as.

>> You're not saying I need
that from you you're saying this is where I am in my life,
this is my my project I see myself wanting family
togetherness belonging or whatever it is that you're
looking for but you're not saying you need to be the one
to provide that year just stating your own position on
that relationship map. Yeah, if you stay where you are the
people who don't want that will go away and that's a good
thing.

>> So it's interesting because
you say you know really be intentional about what you want
not necessarily from that person, but you have a very
different strategy. My personal. It though says don't
date for a partner because I think it makes it can make it a
0 sum game and it cannot a lot of pressure like oh this is
your own it's only a good day if it's going to lead to
something.

I think the dating need to rebrand I think it
should be an era kind of like being a teenager going to
college and I think that dating is about discovering, what you
want and discovering things about yourself and how you do
that is by meeting new people okay. I like this about this
person I didn't like this about this person you're all adding
all this information. All while working on your self-worth my
big thing is self worth and one of the couple's touched on it,
they said you know we had to love ourselves. We had to fill
up their coffers and then that right person dropped and so. >> I think that 2 things can be
true at the same time like I think that you can want those
things and and and know that they're going to happen, but I
also don't think you need to put that internal pressure on
yourself for every single day that you can have a lot of your
bad South yeah, but I will say as a woman and 57 I have
watched where I would say the fastest years of the women's
life are between 3237 minutes, the difference between DGA and
Mfg because all of a sudden 32.

I don't know did yeah and then
37 also it's like oh I do I mean Mfg it's like all of a
sudden that you get to this case where you want to do this
thing and suddenly there's not the time they're right what I
feel like women did not say in my generation was if you want
to have children it needs to be a priority. >> My fear with that thinking
is that you know with with all that pressure to find a partner
to to be your you know your other half is that it is that a
lot of especially young women, the they settle and my whole
thing is like you have to you know I agree with you that that
you know, we're we're pack animals.

We like to have
partnership and companionship but it's not going make you
happy it's not going to fill tell you I think you have to
fill up your own Cup and then the right person will drop and
I have both side and I think >> You need to treat dating
when I was dating on these that. dating. Apps I think you need
to treat it as a job I would get out at 6 o'clock at night
and I would plan to 6 o'clock date and an 8 o'clock to 3
times a week on the dating app and I went and I was like and I
met Eric 3 weeks later and I was his second date of the
night. >> So I do believe in treating
it as a job swap to know what you want, but don't think of
every date that you don't want to fall in love with him as a
failure, yeah, because it's all a learning experience up next
the Golden rule for dating that will change everything you
won't want to miss it.

Next. have to be in because we're
ready for a few glasses, I think we've needed it so. >> We've been teasing at the
whole show and I want to say my Golden rule and now this is not
brain surgery, but I do believe this that you cannot go wrong
with the right person you cannot mess it up maybe I've
tried a lot of times I've had twist and turns if the right
person is your person, you cannot mess it up and that is
the Golden rule and also this is a big headline that if
you don't take anything else from the show take this.
Do you know what a guy or a girl wants to do when they want
to date you. A day. >> They didn't want. Yes, you
know the guy or girl wants to they want to marry you a merry.
They didn't yet the actions.

>> Tax to pay for can text.
Yeah, it's not like yeah, Yeah. why AB is a stop worrying about
if you put 2 exclamation points or one at the end of that act.
Yeah, there's no confusion, there's confusion. It's not
your for. It is super right person is going in. >> Courage me and call forth.
What is highest in me the relationship is bringing that
forward that is what I'm looking for like when you talk
about your story with Eric I'm like what he encouraged in you
with something hire you caught a glimpse of a higher jail and
then you went to her right and that's what about her.

>> I like her and I like you
yeah, thank you so much, >> I think this is really
important. Glad yes, we check thanks. the time I say this is trey say
I'm Jill thank you to this beautiful location. >> And NASA to Verna downtown
cheers, everywhere, you look to the new World. >> We've given you the new
rules for finding love and now I want you to feel and look
great for your next date so we've created some of our
favorite things heads of state dot com for some amazing
products. And today works with affiliate
partner and may earn a commission on purchases made
through our links. >> When it comes to paying
woman at work. That journey offers up questions for women
like me. That's why I'm sitting down with 3 trail Blazers.
Women that stand out as beacons of inspiration for so many
women across the globe to chat about our journeys and debate
about what it means to be a successful woman at work. >> As the Daughters of
Vietnamese refugees, Vanessa and Kim Pham grew up watching
their mom cook traditional dinners from scratch every
night, but quickly found that their favorite flavors worn
represented in the grocery store.

Well, Vanessa Climb the
corporate ladder and Kim worked in startups and venture
capital. They channel their entrepreneurial spirit to
create products to fill the void they saw in grocery store
aisles in Twenty-twenty, Vanessa and Kim launched.
Stop the Pantry staple Grand, bringing loud, proud Asian
flavors. >> To any kitchen Reshma Sow Johnny was an early
investor in on top and over the past 3 decades has been a
warrior for women and girls everywhere. After starting her
career as an attorney Reshma challenge, Democratic
Representative Carolyn Maloney and 2010 House elections Law
Maloney won the election. Russia may use the experience
to elevate and help others along the way. In 2012 freshman founded Girls
who code an organization that aims to increase the number of
women in computer science. She's the author of 4 books,
including her latest pay up and founder of the Marshall Plan
for Moms, a national movement advocating for the rights of
working mothers like herself. >> Throughout my career, I've
written 3 books, Bill, my lifestyle brand Bumble Bhalla a
QVC and for 12 years have led the Today Show's steals and
deals segment recently.

I launched 2 new shows shop today
and she made a series that profiles female business
owners. In my latest venture shop, the scenes, the
groundbreaking platform gives viewers the opportunity to
virtually step on the set of their favorite show or movie
and buy items with one click. >> The old rules for working
women may have required us to fit into the corporate mold is
this is a memo that right now women will be sent home if they
wear makeup for us. Just seeing one quarter inch sacrifice, our
personal lives for opportunity. I mean, in your whole life
because and stay in our lane. >> We calculate mathematics
necessary to enable launch and landing for the space program.
Pretty heady stuff.

These cities and that women have this
sort of >> time to give these outdated
ideas a much-needed makeover. I'm so excited to talk to all
of you. >> About being boss isn't being
basi. Let's talk about being a girl boss and let's brag about
ourselves a little bit because I feel like as women, we don't
do that. And that's so what does it mean to you to be a
girl boss, what it means to grow glasses like success at
all costs. And I think for a lot of us,
especially as of this month, some other like COVID crushed
us.

We've been you're b***** feeding in closets and doing
the laundry between our our meetings and like launching our
companies and trying to basically a mom and be a CEO
and just in smiling the whole way. It was all a big lie. And I think for so many of us
and we bought into this girl boss lean in culture that we
just had to jump on an express train. That was all it was
going to take. And so after the pandemic, I just are telling
the truth. It's a very interesting perspective.
So do you think our boss has a negative connotation? I think
that. >> Term girl boss and a lot of
the energy that comes with that term is of a seizure of flight.
This boys club era where to 60 does woman. I need to be just
like the boys. I need to work just like the boys. I need to
communicate and interact in the workplace just like the boys.
And I think that has led to a lot of toxic hurtful behavior.
And I think what we're seeing is resurgence or reclamation of
that word where it's about reclaiming yes, power, yes
grows but on our own terms.

>> I would not notice if
somebody the other day said you are the only girl on this call
of 30 men. I didn't even notice. Would you notice? Yeah, yeah. I noticed. Yeah.
I definitely noticed as well. The thing I would like love to
put in a little bottle of perfume, right? Just like spray
at is that like they've got nothing on us. They got nothing on us. There's
always competition now. But the thing is we've had to compete, right? It's like we've had to
actually be better than for Vanessa Kim, like it took more than just
competence and performance to get to the level where they're
at their product in holes, Whole Foods.

So I think the ha
moment for us is that stop buying into this. But like we
are actually not qualified that we've always been caught.
So girl boss is of Estes of that. So is the word imposter
centered. So are the words having it all. And I think
what's exciting about this moment is like, I don't know
what the alternative is yet. I just know that what we've
been doing doesn't work it in part of why does the work is
that it hasn't been shining a light on what's really wrong?
What's really wrong is that we don't have structural support.
We live in a society, right? That doesn't have childcare and
paid leave. And so those are choices that women in
particular are actually facing. >> We need a new language.
We need a new rule, right? That is what do you feel for
me? The struggle personally has been either under shooting are
over shooting constantly because there's this.

So
there's a clear idea of what I should strive for and in doing
that. I can't just be true to myself. And so my journey has
been, how do I embrace my vulnerability? My connection to
my emotions in a very genuine and authentic way as a leader.
But I would say a lot of the narratives externally have made
that may be hard for me at times. >> I believe that you could be
commanding and take over room and smart and also be sensitive
and vulnerable and feminine. I don't think those things are
exclusive of each other. Do you agree? I absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
I think that there's a generation of women who would
say that's not true that you shouldn't, you know,
showing cleavage should wear red lip.

I think women have
always had to basically reconciled who they are and
their own identities and to what they're supposed to be
their leader. >> I think what we're fighting
for is like, let's just break all of these narratives and
just let women be whoever they want to be in roles. That
leadership, how that looks in might be coming in might be
powerful. Maybe domineering might be quite. It might be
vulnerable. We just want there to be multitudes within that
definition. >> Are we doing that? You're in
a floral just and Gina, don't you think? I just showing up
here and having this conversation of saying, you
know, this is is what's going on now
is part of the process.

>> Yeah, I feel like the times
where it's most tested are times where we're in a room
with what would be perceived as like a keepers are people who
get to control where opportunities and resources go.
I mean, we have been meetings with investors where they've
called us young and emotional when we're trying to pitch them
right. And I I'm not sure that that would be that language
would be readily available if they were speaking to 2 male
found. It's really hard to figure out how to shop at than
to flee from there because you don't want to be punished for
it. >> Will you dress for the
situation that you're going in or will you stay true? >> I firmly believe in
integration. That is like one of my biggest hopes for women
everywhere is that we can be our full selves and every
situation that we don't have to compartmentalize different
parts of ourselves for different contacts. So I show
up like this with investors. I show up like this with you
all. I hope with this with my team because I really believe
that the next stage of leadership that I think this
generation is really pushing forward.

>> Is like wholeness in our
leaders. Have any of you been called bossy? And if so, do you
find that to be negative or do you find that to be an adjective? That's OK, it's certainly been come. >> I think I liked by. Yeah. >> I think the reason we don't
like the word bossy is when we use it to refer to girls in
particular, it's seen as a negative thing. So it's like
we're saying goes, don't be bossy, actually give other
people room, be quiet, you know, worry about how other
people think about you.

And all of that kind of conditioning is
what makes us as women small and not able to kind of lead
and be ourselves. Whereas when boys are basi their leaders, I
think as long as kindness is in the thread of whatever boss,
the means to you that it's acceptable. I mean,
in whatever form that is. I think a lot of people,
though, have different views on boss, the stereotypes. And we
checked in with some people. Let's take a look. >> I see young girls signs and
masks were always make it subject in school.

I'm studying
psychology nickel to pursue a career in the state as the
science is it to find joy and some problems. But I were you
being overlooked. I cannot help noticing that the Mueller
positions to research and a secure room in a cooler mining
representation in this space is even harder. My question is,
how can it overcome the challenges of being 100% of my
19 to 16 some PR? >> Her have been there. I think the first thing is
having patience and grace with yourself because so much of
this is beyond your control. So much of this is actually
institutional bias and inequity that is like built into a lot
of these industries and fields. So it's not just a personal
challenge that you're trying to over comments, actually
something much bigger than you sometimes. And so I would say
just like having Levin patients for yourself as you start like
navigate, that was first for me.

We have got to really start
unwinding. >> All of what we have been fed
can wake up to this like, yeah, the of like will like
it's kind of stacked against us and it's never really about
performance. We have to start getting to a place where we are
our finding the confidence within
ourselves. So is that the new rule working to find confidence
in your south that no matter what is set in it out, outwardly inward,
you find that strength? >> Yes, I do think it's a lot
about an learning some of these narratives that maybe were
meant to be empowering historically but have been
internalized as a lot of pressure to be perfect as the
daughter of you to me is refugees. I constantly felt
like I had to prove myself. You're trying to clear this
bar.

That's impossible consistently. >> So I feel like I had to do a
lot of the un work of an learning that and practicing a
feeling of enough nus migrants or refugees to from Uganda that
came here. And it's almost like a double edged sword of being a
woman and being, you know, the daughter of immigrants is
that, you know, our parents to fit into America. We're trying
to shrink themselves. So the idea of like taking voice and
taking space was not at all of how I was taught. >> You know, that is literally
the the heart of our brands like Psalm is rooted in the
victim's face. So which roughly translates to rowdy or
rambunctious is actually a negative term like my parents
would chastise us.

It will be. So so we love this idea of
reclaiming and being so proud and loud because that was
something, you know, especially as Asian Americans fighting the
model minority myth that we just never felt we had access
to. I constantly flatten silence and erased and we wish
wanted to build a business that would be like a middle finger
to that. >> So enamored haha, all of
you. I love that. We're going to continue this conversation
when we come back >> I think as women, we put too
much pressure on ourselves for this finding balance.

So I think that in order to be
successful as an entrepreneur or anything, you need to take
time for yourself, whatever that means for you. I'm absolutely like I think
that I learned this when I start having children, you
know, have a 2 year-old and an 8 year-old inmate. They will
take every piece of the pilot, right? And I think also because we
live in this like this culture where like mom has to be a
martyr. It's almost you feel guilty if you go do something
for yourself. So like I love to work out, but I do it at like
07:00AM when that the babies are getting up when the dog
wants to go out because I do not yell figure it out.

I'm not
here to get a knife or go do it. So it's not just about
doing something for yourself. You have to do it at a time.
That's a literally inconvenient for other people to learn how
to put yourself first, I guess just challenging that. Why is
that important that it be inconvenient for other people?
We're so conditioned to be self-sacrificing. And so we actually have to like
flip the script and actually do it.

That's do some. It is very
selfish or very self-serving. And so you start to learn how
to put yourself first. I think that an important part of this
is to acknowledge like I disagree with that. But that's what works for you.
Yeah, and I respect that while I still have my path to being
selfish of whatever bird that is like, what's your let's put
it in quotes. Yeah, because I do want to call it that.
But what is your selfish? >> Well, actually, I had to
fundamentally change the way I think about what like what
success looks like in my life and used to be like, OK, if I'm
successful, my career that will make time for the other stuff.
And I've had to be like, wait a second. Is that really
how I want to prioritize and does it actually more look like
I I hope to achieve some clear some of our weather now.
It doesn't have to be this high, but in many aspects of my
life and even you know, saying like doing things for myself
when in actuality, it's like if I'm nourished in my life will
be a much better scene to that.

Yes. >> I actually when I was
younger, did work 24 7 and looking back thought I was
unhappy. And isn't that the end goal? >> I don't know. I for me play
it like you're working in playing are equally as
important and both is a better by prioritize both. I turned 30
this year and I was like, oh, man, I kind of lost some,
perhaps some of my 20's to this energy of sacrifice and work
hard no matter what. And those are years and never get back.
One really pivotal moment for me was when I was invited to
something. >> And I used to say at this, I
have that or somebody asked me to work.

And now I just say I'm
going to pass EXO if it's appropriate or not, with no
excuse the ability to say no without an excuse the
importance of that. This is honestly something that my
husband I've been talking about. It's not the time for
him to go on a trip because you're like exhaust and
stressed out because the kids below just say no. But I think
that the concept I'm always saying, yes, just pass. It just
passed the reason perhaps why feels hard to. >> To say no is because
sometimes aside, Ali, we don't respect women drawing
boundaries like that is seen somehow as negative or bossy or
unreasonable when in reality drawing boundaries is the best
way to like clearly communicate what you're capable of doing. >> Like a muscle that you're
building only for yourself, but in terms of how other
people perceive you and what they can expect from what they
can take from you.

And so even in friendships or
relationships, there's a very healthy play center, a
boundary. And I think the all passes a form of just showing
that that, yeah. >> I think saying no is also
kind of a private also ending this kind of hold also culture
that too. We spoke to some other people and they shared
their stories with us about trying to find balance. And he
has our next question. Take a look. >> Well, you know, in an
immigrant family, I learned to view the world to very
practical, I stability in financial security among my top
priorities when I chose my career.

>> The 20 years I have
successful and stealing Korea and the medical field. I want my kids left an empty
nester. I found myself wondering if there was more to my life in my second act. I am an
actor. Michael is to bring
authenticity to AP. I stories my new career, something just for me and the sets Maisel
on fire. My question is how can I focus on personal
fulfillment in impact on society in my career? >> I know that you as like my
dad was like to be a doctor or an engineer. It was an honest,
of course, that she was a doctor. It was clear that that
wasn't her, which she wanted to do that was probably for. >> Then I think sometimes were
fed this narrative of like if you love what you do, you'll
never work a day in your life or like, you know, doesn't
matter.

Just follow your passion. And I think sometimes
or should be like an asterisk to that. I know for Vanessa and
I like being the daughter of refugees. There's always an
element of like, OK, we don't have generational
wealth. We don't have a safety net to fall back on. And so we
would love to be able to dream all the way and go after that
100% all the time. But I think that S what S and I were able
to do is like >> finding our own path forward
with our north star of for us Asian flavors, a nation stories
is president off the film and part of the recipe for balance?
I think so.

I'm very spiritual in the Hindu and they say for
us, it's like what is your time when you put this earth to do so? I very much feel like my
calling has been to be a warrior to be fined or in my
case cider for women and girls. And so I have so much to film it in doing the work that I do,
which I think allows me then to have a lot more quote, balance
in my life. A lot of what I'm that balance in my life is
making the space for the work that I meant to do and having
the joy that I want to have my family. So do we want to say
the new rule for balance is having the ability to say no
with grace. I'm taking time for ourselves
with no excuses. The goal being happy. I want to be there. Yeah.
The next la you that. Yeah.

I'm on the way. I think that's
really powerful. Okay. On that note, we will be right back
with much wind >> as a CEO. I always say to
people who I work with is are you happy? Are you enjoying
what you're doing? So do you find joy in your work and to
you make it a point to find joy? >> Yeah, I feel so blessed.
I mean, listen, I think for a long time I was a good Indian
girl in the daughter did did the jobs that I was supposed to
do to make my parents happy and to pay off that student loan
debt. And I was miserable, you know, in my early 30's
edges hit rock bottom and what that bottom look like. A lot of tears. A lot of is
what is the rest of my life? Because I knew what I was doing
as little girl like I wanted to be a change agent. And so being
a corporate lawyer and that corporate job at a hated, I was
like this can't be it.

And so for me, I ran for United
Congress against an 18 year incumbent. I got crushed. But it was the best experience
because it taught me that failure just have to break me. And it taught me put me on my
path for the life and for the work that I was meant to do.
Now, when I circles could, if you asked me if I was going
to be a nonprofit leader with doing a nonprofit to teach
girls to code, which ones you're crazy, I was a poly sign
major. I thought nonprofits really sleepy and slow like
that was not the plant often is what we're trying to look for
the title in the job and that focus on the work and now I'm
launching my next profit.

The Marshall Plan for Moms were
not fighting for moms and fighting for working women to
create new structures. Again, it's not necessarily the vehicle. It's to work. I really admire what you just said. And. >> And thank you. Are you
happy? You know, I when you keep talking about your family,
do you take a step back and do that to everyone say we're so
proud of you? >> Oh, my gosh. Our parents are
actually like a huge part of our story on some story.
And actually, it's been a it's as much as building on. Some
has been a professional journey. It's been a personal
journey and it's been a familial journey where there
are many nights where I called my dad crying whenever we've,
you know, had a big obstacle come our way or a failure.
In some sense end, I I didn't go.

I just want to make you
proud. Like part of why I'm doing what I'm doing is because
like, you know, I want to do right by you and mom and I feel
like this is part of that. And my that is the first person
to tell me like stop right there. You have already made us
proud. It's been a journey of of on learning that that
narrative that I've created in my head that like that, I am you know that I have
to do that for them. I always thought that self fulfillment
would come join and cell phone that would come together.
And I realize that you can feel so fulfillment, but you still
have to defend your joy and your access to that in a really
hard job.

I think that. >> Finding joy, as you you
really put it beautifully and act and really articulated.
It is a responsibility that we all have to dedicate ourselves
to. And we spoke with one woman who is sharing her story.
Take a look. >> I've been to some of my
dentist for over 30 years from 07:00AM to 04:00PM.
I work at the dental clinic at the United States.

Navy grants
a marine base. I entered the profession because I want to
make a positive impact on people's health care. I try to
balance being a professional well, bringing positivity and
laughter to the workspace. But sometimes the repetitive
nature of my job is monotonous. My question to you is after
being in my field for so many years, how can I stay excited
about my work? >> I think getting stock is a
very common, especially with what we've all been through
over the past few years. So what would your advice be? >> What's helped me when it has
started to feel like a grind is honestly like finding joy
outside of work. Give me an example like I mean in the
beginning, especially launched on some which we may of 2020's
are right in the pandemic. And remember those first couple
months, I was working every day like second, I woke up until
like 10, 11, midnight easily because what else are we doing?
And I remember just like getting on one like scooter
ride one afternoon and like that brought me so much, joy.
And then I started making it a habit was like, okay, at least
once a day.

I just need to leave my Brooklyn apartment.
All wear a mask. All just ride around Brooklyn for 20 minutes.
No destination. And I found that even just making those
little breaks like out, come back into work. And yes, I
would still be working after dinner, but I had a lot more
joy and excitement, ally contract with my coworkers or
tackle creative problems because I had a moment just to
myself.

I could really relate to what she was saying because, >> you know, I felt that way
kind of year, 7 or 8 into girls. A coat as a guy built the model, every
200 million dollars. You know? >> I say that so casual, but it
was what that this is my point. I got to that place where it
like all the pain that here's the crime exhaustion that this
is going to happen like I kind of you can ship when you're not
like I've got to figure that out, right? And and then you are kind of
bored, I think for a lot of us. >> We just kind of stay because
we think we're supposed to like a joke. When I decide to step
off across the COVID. I didn't even tell my husband. I tell my
dad, I didn't my friends. Everyone would have said, are
you crazy, right? Why would you step away from the thing that
you built? But I wanted to feel scared
again in a phrase.

I love that.
So is that the new rule that there is joy in being scared?
Oh, yes, the best things come from discomfort and fear not
have I really like that because it's comforting to know that other people feel
that way. Yeah, well, you guys are my people. And I think
that's what we want to get out of this as a general new rule
is that there is room and space for so many incredible women.
So thank you and thank you all for joining us. And we look
forward to hearing from you and we will see you next time out >> Hi there I'm Jill Martin I'm
45 years old and I was single for 44 years.

Well once I fully
found myself I found my left on the today show and share the
latest trends and inspirational stories. But it talent haven't
gotten into I got engaged twice to the same man and now I know
the Golden rule to be happy. Hi guys I'm takes David in
London, New York, la and San Francisco now I use my tiny
microphone to give out advice to millions of people on how to
date have fun and be true to yourself. >> I am Kasey million in 57
years all that they should take Dutch TV goes on there and and
I have worked with 1000 people on their lives and I can tell
you that it is not about finding the
right person it's about.

>> I changed over the past few
years and if you're dating the past to love can be hard to
navigate it makes the just feel well. 3 different women of different
ages different backgrounds are coming together to rewrite
them. >> This is pretty cool because
nothing is off limits were here really talk and really redefine
the rules so I feel like this pandemic has been so messy for
everybody and dating has been something that has been so
tough and it was tough enough before let alone after this
mask, so what has the past 2 and a half 3 years been like
for you you know I think that the pandemic really held up a
mirror for all of us and made us all examine our lives what
we want for ourselves from our partners and in that way you
know that's a little bit of a silver lining right because we
really think about what we want however, I think our phone
addiction and the whole online portion of dating has gotten
completely out of control in the past 2 years because we're
all completely addicted to our phones in a way that we never
have been before so dating and you know the apps are all game
if I'd.

>> And what about you I feel
that the pandemic was an opportunity to really take
stock of where I was in my life all the things that are filling
up my life, the career like friendships brunch. I realized we know that stopped
that being alone was not a life plan like I needed to pay more
attention. >> To my personal
relationships, I could relate to what you both said you know,
I I like to concentrate on silver
linings, especially after this mass and what I've gotten
brought shown the breath of it is to really go narrow and deep
by started the pandemic breaking up with my fiance and
ended it planning wedding wow well we've been video dating if
you will with some singles and a couple of and the one thing
we heard over and over is that some I'm baggage can weigh you
down, but it doesn't have to take a look.

>> I was married twice and I
got divorced, I started over again so for the last 2 years.
I've been online dating. I did fall for someone and I
had a big disappointment. I've got an e-mail from a woman
asking what was happening with me and her boyfriend who she
had been dating for 2 years and then it came out very quickly,
he's been dating many many women 6 to 8 that I know a lot
of letting them all think that it was exclusive and creating
this alternate life or that of those women so it makes getting
back into the dating pool again even a little scarier been
trying. >> I was very comfortable
telling by what I had to because it was I was talking
basically to a stranger and never see again.

>> It's not like school plan
that we went into the kitchen. I hope you know the back of my
little device but that we you know that was really a plan. >> It's to to talk to you I
think little by little I I showed you a little more of my
anxiety. Ice to hide it. But I quickly realized that
there is somebody is going to come for me and that could be a
scene and the fact that something is stressing out of
making it comfortable.

I think because I understand. >> So let's just we're all
going to call ourselves out here because we agree to all be
honest. So you've been divorced one or 2 I've been married and
divorced 3 times. >> Now the thing that was
important was that I had learned my lessons at the end
of my 3rd marriage, I was like oh, wow I am doing every single
thing wrong in relationships I had to look at myself take the
whole relationship House down to the studs and do it
differently doing on what was the biggest. I was believing in
the romantic fantasy I was like. I had a lot of things
where I I could not tolerate uncertainty. So what that meant
is that I got in relationships that we're all on from moment,
one.

>> That's a big big I like not
there yet. Yes it because yes, and I couldn't tolerate that. >> So I ended up getting
relationships with the only qualification is that you work
and leave me from day one. And that comes out of my
personal history out of my baggage and my baggage is I was
a foster child I was given out like I had a lot of intense
stuff that I was bringing into my relationships that I needed
to process before I was going to be able to form a secure
attachment. So by the time I got in the relationship, I'm in
now was he hasn't like yeah of course, yeah, a time where that
flag and yes, he was like that's a concern tonight and I
was like OK, here's what I can say.

I have not lived with or
married anyone in 16 years. I did my where I I have to be
responsible for my life and everything I create. >> That so it's interesting
because you you know say that you give advice. Yes, and I
think you're like yes, I do. And and so many young girls
with since you what your friends say. All right your patterns or your
baggage. So let's say going into the nation's I things that
they would say I'm I'm pretty I'm I have a pretty good
attachment style. I mean I fell in love last year as all my
followers know and I felt really hard really fast.
You know, he ended up cheating on me but but but that's you
know it's actually interesting in the context of this
conversation because I I say leave the baggage, keep the
lesson.

I think you can always learn something but you don't
have to carry the hurt. I had you know, it's falling in love
so fast it was getting I had what I called boyfriend
sickness because I was just like heart eyes emoji and and
you know I got my heart broken but here's the thing. I spoke
about it publicly because I thought it there's so many
younger people who do follow me out there and listen a lot of
people get cheated on it's a thing that unfortunately
happens all the time.

It's not about you okay, it's something
that the other person day I don't feel embarrassed that I
fell in love, I don't feel ashamed that I trusted the
person I was in love with. It just you know that was on
him. So the lesson actually isn't
anything to do with. And then the cheating it had what I took
from it is actually something beautiful which is that I I
remember how much I love being in love how did you find out. She TDM to me wow use it in he
had a girlfriend.

Yeah, it was it was just a random it was
like it was the cup in the Saudis. It was yeah was she dme
what she what was she was she was one of my followers.
And so it was you know it was it was really painful. It was
in the moment, I was in total disbelief and so I took this
very raw tiktok me crying and explaining what happened and
how I felt and I thought if if there's young women out there
who respect me or falling near think I'm cool or whatever and
I can show them that you know what happened to me and it's
something that I did and that's it silver lining right we can
take this pain and chart turn it into something like a
teachable moment or at least you know get something out of
it and I got thousands and thousands and
thousands of messages young people writing in saying you
know, I got United really person that I watch all your
old videos and I realize like it's nothing that I dead it's
about the other. I always feel like have to look that water seeks
its own level.

>> There's a part of me that
needs to see certain things and it's like dating is, you know
your baggage is your teacher right. It's not about feeling
shame that you have baggage. Yeah, it's about allowing
yourself to see where my here to grow yes. So it's
interesting because you led me into my own high maybe even the
sky. >> But I think it's helpful so
I will discuss it and I haven't but so at the beginning of the
pandemic we were just fighting all the time and my fiance Eric
is just like a love and a wonderful human being and
shares the same moral values as I do and our at fundamental
values and we're just fighting all the time and I was not
picking my battles and I'm not blaming myself right okay all
right, but my staff at that time and his staff did not
match a rifle and I wasn't willing I wasn't willing to
change my the way I reacted to a staff my strategy word to accommodate.

So he basically
said things like if you don't you know this is not going to
work this is not going to work I was like I'll never leave me and then one day he was like I
can cite any way and I was. >> Wow I can't imagine. >> I was really bad time and
really long time and and it caused me to re evaluate
what was important to me. Yeah now I am so proud of who I
am as a human being now I am on you know a path that like. >> If you if you walked away,
and you said to somebody I really like that Joe I'd be
like oh that's strange I thought we had a really has
come to be having a bad day at work if somebody said oh she's
you know, she's ugly somebody said that an instagram is
traveling the way you look at it like oh I'm so sorry who
like to yeah, I know the path that I'm on so has not changed
he says he has but he has and I have changed and I am so
grateful >> that I was given the other
opportunity to I called him after 16 months have spoken you
had spoken at all not in 16 months, I said if you walk out
the store we will never speak again, wow, and >> yeah so I called him and I
was like you know you're in my dreams.

>> And I think we're making a
play for the stake and this is why. >> And musical what would it
look like and then I was like on I was I was like the 12
hour. Com. >> But you know, it's I feel
grateful for the other opportunities and it leads me
into this way that I live now and I
think you'll both relate to this which is this save draft
approach when something gets like you know, when you just get to
the huge sum but it says something or something happens
in your immediate Le set off yeah and you want to like send
an e-mail or call somebody or react. I just saved draft. Yeah, my
numbers, 20 minutes, some people it takes an hour 20
minutes, I have a different like life is is 90%. How you
react to understand what happens about it and use that's
the coolest thing that you did that that growth work.

>> And now not only are you
with the love of your life, but you are happy or 2 we'll be
right back. Some say to underwhelmed with
your profile and wowed them on the date others take a
different approach called catfishing. >> I dedicate this one time in
the picture issues scheme this movie for eyes. And her voice
oh my God, I still remember every voice was a. >> It was some special seeing
pictures nothing and just need at this point we're basically
dating. But we haven't seen each other. My friend point I was like man
if you know these something a little different. And then one day to get some, I
got to tell you. She got real quiet.

She was going online,
she was taking the this girl who was like a model. My heart
is crushed crushed. >> I matched with this guy at
all. He asked me to transition into what that real
boy now good morning. >> And so then we dove into
this really intense long conversation I spent the entire
day talking to him, I'd say around 12 hours the next
morning's.

>> When I woke up I had likes
to paragraph on text message from him saying that he was
like falling in love that's what started raising more red
flags and I think that screen shot my friend I realize that
he had lied all the metadata. >> And from each of the photos
that he was sending me there >> One of my friends to write
the FBI agent of our group came was nothing. back and she was like. This is
the real guy, here's his actual profiles and then I confronted
him that made the tick talk about it.

>> What do you think about you
know what I think is that I have to be much less concerned
about the people out there who are coming to get me then I and
who I am being so for example, the one girl talks about
spending 12 hours on the phone with someone don't spend 12
hours, 70 have a boundary spend 20 minutes on the phone with
somebody because that guy who's cap fishing or that girl is cap
fishing is the pending on you having permeable boundaries
when you see a red flag like. >> I take it got the lungs or
guardian angels, I mean seriously if someone is telling
you that they love you. And you've never even been in the
same room as them that's of flaming red for a classic case
of love bombing. I mean we see this happen when our says this
all the time, you know they rope you win in the first
couple of days there they're all the sudden using we early
on that when we do this when you meet my when we need my mom
next week and you know all this stuff, yeah actions speak
louder than words he really does have to got checked you
have to get the confidence in yourself and gain that
confidence in your south to know this is what I want this
is what I like this is what I'm looking for and I think that
leads me to our next topic which is kitten fishing.
I don't even know what this was a lot of people don't know
they're doing it is putting those filters are lying about
your age, you know just these little white lies him some time
to see you're thinking this is the only way that all be loved
right right, that's what subconsciously is happen.
When you add an extra and when you take a couple years off
your age, you're basically saying as I am I'm not worthy
to accept lot and that's the major problem I don't I I took
a photo of myself without makeup and then I added this
very popular filter.

And we >> A photo of it that I can
show you so if I were doing have. this just sort of I was just
posting something I wanted to highlight a t-shirt that's one
thing but to put that on a dating app I I want and I don't
want to look like I was like yourself what you want when
someone's attracted to you. >> On a dating app you want
them to say wow I like that not I like the filtered version and
it you know, I can't imagine the anxiety that it causes if
you are putting filtered overly filtered or face tuned pictures
of yourself and getting up then the anxiety of meeting a person
in real life and knowing that they're going to see a
disconnect another term that we hear a lot about and is is
really I think precipitate a lot of women not men not
putting themselves out there. >> Is ghosting OK, let's talk
about ghosting yes ghosting could be the best thing that
ever happened to you so to me, you know rejection is God's
protection, right, it's like if somebody goes to all it means
is that they did not see themselves in a long-term
relationship with the EU and they do not have the emotional
skill to handle the intimacy that is required to break up
with you in person.

So they can't be vulnerable. Whatever
it is in which case you know nama stay. >> Because they couldn't do the
relationship, I think I share your sentiment but I say it a
little differently I always tell my followers ghosting is
small the energy. It is the opposite of confident in how
hard is it to pick up your phone and say, hey really liked
getting to know you these past couple weeks. I don't actually
feel romantic vive I respect you so I want to be straight up
with you. Good luck out there that's really hard actually an
amount of time that we could save one another for just up
front with an anti coast time yeah like just send a text be
kind of you know what I hate even more than go staying is
what you call bread cramming so bad timing is like a soft
ghostwriting yeah, they don't completely goes to they just
reach out from beyond the grave once in a while and and you
know what's so bad might want to someday they're really
leaving you on the back burner.

They're putting you on simmer
their push you to the back just in case their board one weekend
coming up is culture dad for ever that I hope so rules for finding love and the
one thing we've been hearing over and over from couples is
that dating has become way more intentional. >> With the pandemic when I was
stating I really thought that I was looking for like the person
who wanted to social events all the time and be out in the
public eye. I'm definitely more nonchalant I thought that to be
a power couple both of us had to have that personality.
I realized what I was really looking for was somebody I
could be happy with at-home somebody that made me feel.

>> Or it hasn't toward course,
but you know we got engaged after 8 months. Mary, a few months out. Twins are just part of the
world. >> Our past relationships,
we've definitely struggled skipping over red flags putting
our needs loss and you know staying in relationships, the
longer than we wanted to out of the year that will never find
love again stressful absolutely. Well. So once he
started loving ourselves, we felt confident in who we are
and you track to each other what else to tell it was
beautiful. >> It's almost intentional
dating. You know what's being called the n-word your
authentic self like what I really want to I want to be in
a committed relationship they want to I want to have kids you
get that out of the way pretty early I before I think people
are a little bit like I would campus and what I was trying to
say to people as.

>> You're not saying I need
that from you you're saying this is where I am in my life,
this is my my project I see myself wanting family
togetherness belonging or whatever it is that you're
looking for but you're not saying you need to be the one
to provide that year just stating your own position on
that relationship map. Yeah, if you stay where you are the
people who don't want that will go away and that's a good
thing. >> So it's interesting because
you say you know really be intentional about what you want
not necessarily from that person, but you have a very
different strategy. My personal. It though says don't
date for a partner because I think it makes it can make it a
0 sum game and it cannot a lot of pressure like oh this is
your own it's only a good day if it's going to lead to
something. I think the dating need to rebrand I think it
should be an era kind of like being a teenager going to
college and I think that dating is about discovering, what you
want and discovering things about yourself and how you do
that is by meeting new people okay.

I like this about this
person I didn't like this about this person you're all adding
all this information. All while working on your self-worth my
big thing is self worth and one of the couple's touched on it,
they said you know we had to love ourselves. We had to fill
up their coffers and then that right person dropped and so. >> I think that 2 things can be
true at the same time like I think that you can want those
things and and and know that they're going to happen, but I
also don't think you need to put that internal pressure on
yourself for every single day that you can have a lot of your
bad South yeah, but I will say as a woman and 57 I have
watched where I would say the fastest years of the women's
life are between 3237 minutes, the difference between DGA and
Mfg because all of a sudden 32. I don't know did yeah and then
37 also it's like oh I do I mean Mfg it's like all of a
sudden that you get to this case where you want to do this
thing and suddenly there's not the time they're right what I
feel like women did not say in my generation was if you want
to have children it needs to be a priority.

>> My fear with that thinking
is that you know with with all that pressure to find a partner
to to be your you know your other half is that it is that a
lot of especially young women, the they settle and my whole
thing is like you have to you know I agree with you that that
you know, we're we're pack animals. We like to have
partnership and companionship but it's not going make you
happy it's not going to fill tell you I think you have to
fill up your own Cup and then the right person will drop and
I have both side and I think >> You need to treat dating
when I was dating on these that.

Dating. Apps I think you need
to treat it as a job I would get out at 6 o'clock at night
and I would plan to 6 o'clock date and an 8 o'clock to 3
times a week on the dating app and I went and I was like and I
met Eric 3 weeks later and I was his second date of the
night. >> So I do believe in treating
it as a job swap to know what you want, but don't think of
every date that you don't want to fall in love with him as a
failure, yeah, because it's all a learning experience up next
the Golden rule for dating that will change everything you
won't want to miss it. Next. have to be in because we're
ready for a few glasses, I think we've needed it so. >> We've been teasing at the
whole show and I want to say my Golden rule and now this is not
brain surgery, but I do believe this that you cannot go wrong
with the right person you cannot mess it up maybe I've
tried a lot of times I've had twist and turns if the right
person is your person, you cannot mess it up and that is
the Golden rule and also this is a big headline that if
you don't take anything else from the show take this.
Do you know what a guy or a girl wants to do when they want
to date you.

A day. >> They didn't want. Yes, you
know the guy or girl wants to they want to marry you a merry.
They didn't yet the actions. >> Tax to pay for can text.
Yeah, it's not like yeah, Yeah. why AB is a stop worrying about
if you put 2 exclamation points or one at the end of that act.
Yeah, there's no confusion, there's confusion. It's not
your for. It is super right person is going in. >> Courage me and call forth.
What is highest in me the relationship is bringing that
forward that is what I'm looking for like when you talk
about your story with Eric I'm like what he encouraged in you
with something hire you caught a glimpse of a higher jail and
then you went to her right and that's what about her. >> I like her and I like you
yeah, thank you so much, >> I think this is really
important. Glad yes, we check thanks. the time I say this is trey say
I'm Jill thank you to this beautiful location.

>> And NASA to Verna downtown
cheers, everywhere, you look to the new World. >> We've given you the new
rules for finding love and now I want you to feel and look
great for your next date so we've created some of our
favorite things heads of state dot com for some amazing
products. And today works with affiliate
partner and may earn a commission on purchases made
through our links. >> All right, here's here's my
favorite thing right now I feel like there's like a lot of
friendship in this room..